How to Create a Negative Play Experience in 10 Easy Steps

By ObiWonka, in X-Wing

1. Run a tournament.

2. 11 players show up.

3. 12th player joins so there's an even number.

4. Set round 1 pairings.

5. 13th player arrives after all matches are set, but before turn 1 begins.

6. Give player 13 the bye.

6. Reset all pairings and make everybody move.

7. Fast forward to the top 4 cut.

8. Top 4 is announced, but 3rd place has to leave.

9. Bump 4th place to 3rd and 5th to 4th.

9. Have a top 3 instead.

10. Give 1st place a bye into the final round and have 2nd and 4th play to meet him there.

10. Keep matches seeded as they were, forcing 1st place to play 4th while 2nd gets a bye into the final.

/rant

That sounds as terrible as it is inexplicable. Sorry you had to sit through it. )c:

That sounds as terrible as it is inexplicable. Sorry you had to sit through it. )c:

All 4 of my games were wonderful. Great opponents. Fun flying. The running of the event itself was... bizarre.

Idiotic.

Interesting. I could easily live with the reset of pairings at the start of the tournament, or making it a Top 3 instead (after all, the player probably took his Top 4 prize before leaving) but giving the Final Bye to the 2nd place instead of the 1st is not the best move for a TO to make.

oh, this might be my favorite ever thread. I'll limit myself to 10, but man, you're making it hard on me:

  1. Call your first opponent of the day "Percy" and see if you can get others to do it.
  2. Ask a lot of questions about your opponents' mum and tell him it's just "fact finding"
  3. Keep distracting your opponents by pointing out through the window and saying "Christ, is that your car?"
  4. If they use the bathroom, hold the door closed so they have to pull on it really hard and then let it go suddenly. Bask in the glory of hearing them fall backwards into a wastecan or, if you're a planner, a strategic placed "puddle"
  5. Keep turning your opponent's ships to face other directions. Doesn't matter if he's watching
  6. Treat tournaments like strip poker and remove a garment of clothing at the end of each round. Plan accordingly, no one wants to have to watch and avoid your "Death Star" when playing
  7. Keep staring at your opponent in a very intense manner and occasional let a grin slip through and whisper, "You'll feel that later"
  8. Insist on hugging opponents before, after, and during matches. But really insist on it. If they refuse, remind them there is nothing in the FAQ that prevents you from asking for this.
  9. If you win/lose, make sure you chase your opponent around the car park in your car after the match. If you can do it BEFORE he gets into his car, so much the better
  10. Bring a nail clipper and use it during games, when he's playing. It can be extremely discombobulating when chips of nails are flying in front of your face.

I really love this thread. Who has more?

Edited by MonkeyInSpace

Interesting. I could easily live with the reset of pairings at the start of the tournament, or making it a Top 3 instead (after all, the player probably took his Top 4 prize before leaving) but giving the Final Bye to the 2nd place instead of the 1st is not the best move for a TO to make.

I could've lived with the reset pairings (though it would've been easier to swallow if every match wasn't already set up, asteroids and placement and everything), and 4th place did get all his proper prizes, which is fair. But yeah, not moving 1st place directly to the final was just... what?

Keep turning your opponent's ships to face other directions. Doesn't matter if he's watching

I actually almost did this once when helping move a ship that had gotten onto my side of the board. Would've been good for a laugh since everyone was having a good time in the games themselves.

MonkeyInSpace, on 20 Feb 2016 - 6:46 PM, said:

oh, this might be my favorite ever thread. I'll limit myself to 10, but man, you're making it hard on me:

  1. Call your first opponent of the day "Percy" and see if you can get others to do it.
  2. Ask a lot of questions about your opponents' mum and tell him it's just "fact finding"
  3. Keep distracting your opponents by pointing out through the window and saying "Christ, is that your car?"
  4. If they use the bathroom, hold the door closed so they have to pull on it really hard and then let it go suddenly. Bask in the glory of hearing them fall backwards into a wastecan or, if you're a planner, a strategic placed "puddle"
  5. Keep turning your opponent's ships to face other directions. Doesn't matter if he's watching
  6. Treat tournaments like strip poker and remove a garment of clothing at the end of each round. Plan accordingly, no one wants to have to watch and avoid your "Death Star" when playing
  7. Keep staring at your opponent in a very intense manner and occasional let a grin slip through and whisper, "You'll feel that later"
  8. Insist on hugging opponents before, after, and during matches. But really insist on it. If they refuse, remind them there is nothing in the FAQ that prevents you from asking for this.
  9. If you win/lose, make sure you chase your opponent around the car park in your car after the match. If you can do it BEFORE he gets into his car, so much the better
  10. Bring a nail clipper and use it during games, when he's playing. It can be extremely discombobulating when chips of nails are flying in front of your face.

I really love this thread. Who has more?

Wait, I think I might have misunderstood the point of this thread. But I still like it. I like it a lot.

Keep turning your opponent's ships to face other directions. Doesn't matter if he's watching

I actually almost did this once when helping move a ship that had gotten onto my side of the board. Would've been good for a laugh since everyone was having a good time in the games themselves.

It's funny when you do it by accident and if they really complain, I like to snap a wing off their model and throw it at them! The look on their face is always awesome.

But yeah, not moving 1st place directly to the final was just... what?

My reaction exactly when I read it. I just hope the 1st player still made it to the final.

But yeah, not moving 1st place directly to the final was just... what?

My reaction exactly when I read it. I just hope the 1st player still made it to the final.

He did, and he won that, too! Well-deserved.

I've seen this situation happen.

However: Player turns up late after rounds have started should be given a match loss (not a bye)

As far as the top cut how we handled it (which I still think is fairest)

the player who had to leave gets the "Top 4" prize.

5th gets to join the top 4, but gets no "Top 4" prize - they will earn the "Top 2", or "Champion" part of the prize if they make it that far. Pair as per normal, which in this case would be 1v5 and 2v4.

Either seems reasonable.

1v4 with 2 getting automatic entry... is not.

... Wow, that's... well, not quite a train wreck, but definately close to it.

I wouldn't hand out top four prizes until after the two games. If you can't stay to play in the top four then fifth place takes your spot. Pretty simple

1) Talk using nothing but your best Jar-jar Binks impression the entire time.

2) Talk about how every sci-fi movie is better than Star Wars.

3) Start every game by explaining why your opponent's list is "noob".

4) Insist on reading the opponent's pilot or upgrade card every time it is used.

5) Call everyone "sport".

6) Bring microwaved salmon for a snack.

7) Use a craps cane to gather your dice and to move your ships.

8) Wear and use a diaper to "save time".

9) Loudly blame the dice for EVERYTHING. ( The shuttle doesn't have a hard one!?! Man, these dice suck!!)

10) Repeatedly ask your opponent "are you done yet?"

Edited by Stone37

Whoever was TO for this event should be on a TO ban list.

...wow.

Odd number of players so the TO plays (his beat face list) to even out the pairings.

1 person drops. TO keeps playing (and winning) while giving Byes to people who actually paid to be in the event.

TO wins the event and takes the prizes.

1. Say sure as many times as you can in the match. Answer every question with sure. Every time he does anything ask him if he's sure? Double check to make sure he's really sure.

2. Roll each die 1 at a time and have a different ritual for each die.

3. Sing during the entire match

4. Always take a focus action but say you are target locking while putting a focus token down

5. Use your epic range ruler for every range check even the blatant range 1s

6. Move the obstacles during set up and during play

7. Don't shower for a week in advance

8. Hit on the opponent at every opportunity

9. Play taps and give a military style eulogy for ever ship that gets destroyed

10. After he sets up demand you switch sides then change your mind after the new set up

When observing a game, pick a side. Then whenever the opposition is about to make a crucial roll start chanting, "Choke!Choke!Choke!".

But yeah, not moving 1st place directly to the final was just... what?

My reaction exactly when I read it. I just hope the 1st player still made it to the final.

Here we go again! :-)

1) Eat a bag of cheetos. Insist on using your opponents everything.(range ruler/ dice/Damage deck/etc.) When they complain about the cheetos dust on your fingers, lick them, and continue to play as normal.

2) Play Chewbacca in your list. Speak to your opponent in wookie for the entire match.

3) douse your clothes in axe body spray.

4) order food halfway into the match.

5) do a celebratory dance everytime you roll a dice.

6) buy a slushie before the match. Slurp loudly.

7) Call the TO over for every move you make.

8) Ask everyone about there list. At the end say "that list wasn't all that great, I found it boring."

9) Smell your opponents ships. When questioned, look them in the eye and say " I can smell their fear...."

10) Play hearthstone on your phone. Act annoyed while your opponent is setting his dials. Then wait for them to make a motion for you to move your ships. Ignore them for at least 3 seconds each time.

BONUS: Fly a list of interceptor type ships (TIE int, A-wing, Starviper). Have them fly along the board edge, single file, to hide there numbers. (Or vice versa, only move your ships 1 forward at a time.)

Edited by FlyingAnchors

7) Use a craps cane to gather your dice and to move your ships.

It's called a "croupier stick", and you get get them for ~$15 on Amazon.