There are lots of great quotes in Dark Heresy and The Inquisitor's Handbook, especially in the short rank descriptions. They all add flavour to the Imperium, so I was wondering if anyone else had their own quotes to share.

Anything you've made up yourself, heard another player say, or received from your GM.

"Once you get planetside, there's no letting up. You don't get a breather, you don't get a respite. The beasts of that world won't stop and let you rest, not even when you're dead. The smallest of them will suck out your eyeballs, then scavengers will strip the flesh from your body, greater things will come in the night and feast on your bones. And then, when everything else is done with you, the planet itself will devour your very soul."

Sergeant Ortiz Kyrinov, 83rd Infantry - on the death world Dusk.

"Silenced weaponry? Well of course! Take a look at this model right here, we calls it "Blanketed Death" 'cos you can kill a nobleman in his bed without waking his pretty wife what sleeps right next to him. Yeah, yeah, try it out, there's a firing range just over there. Load it, feel the weight. Silencer doesn't do nothing to make it heavier does it? All in-built and custom made. Oh yeah, the silencer is just that good, I mean... you could blow me away right here and now and Berdy next door wouldn't hear a thing..."

Last words of Ivan Vinnes, Gunmetal City trader.

lol @ that second quote headbanger- very Lord of War.

"The bravest among you will have the honour of dying in my service. Any cowards will know the terror of dying by my hand"

-Inquisitor Nihilus

Dont worry Hackstar if you lose your leg we will find a new one for you.

Meta Alcine -Techpriest to her fellow acolyte.

"Fear and cowardice have a stench all their own, but it can always be driven out by the sweet scent of honour and bravery, or the righteous smell of freshly ignited promethium."

-Sgt Gallen Titus after burning out a room full of cultists.

"Mad? I am not mad, though I have every right to be. Any man would, had he seen but a tenth of what I have seen. I am but a man who strives for order, and justice. If I have to burn a thousand worlds, it would be worth it if I can bring just one worshipper of the Archenemy to the justice of the God-Emperor. I sometimes think I am the last sane man in a mad, mad world. Do not question me again"

Witchfinder-General Vaseen al-Ghaz, 'Scourge of the J'thraa', Purgator of Icthyon III, declared heretic and executed by a cell of acolytes under the Seal of Inquisitor Zane, 829.m41

Lexicanum has a long list of quotes, and Anargo (still WiP site) has a small sample up of the 350+ quotes that are a part of its "Thoughts for the Day" component to the pages. Whether they are "grimdark" or not is another matter entirely.

For a singular example, don't forget the traditional "insanity" quote that has graced many peoples' signatures at one time or another.

Kage

"Some may question your right to destroy ten billion people. But those who understand realize that you have no right to let them live."

- In Exterminatus Extremis

Not DH related, but one of my favourite Inquisition quotes:

There is no such thing as a plea for innocence in my court. A plea for innocence is guilty of wasting my time. Guilty.
- Inquisitor Lord Fyodor Karamazov

Here's a real qoute for you. With some tweaking it can fit.

The daring French philosopher Voltaire (1694-1778) frequently refuted the fiercy held religious beliefs of the times. When a priest at his deathbed asked him to renounce Satan, he replied thus:

"Now, now, dear man. This is not the time to be making enemies".

Although probibly in french.

"I'm tired of getting my ass shot to smitherens! And we haven't heard of any ass-bionics have we?"

-Investigator Cortez-

Teach a man to work and he will support the Imperium on his shoulders.

Teach a man to fight and he will die for the glory of the God-Emperor.

Teach a man to think and you doom him to heresy.

''In the face of a daemon, fate will solve nothing Soldier! Untill O'course you got a big gun...''

Drill instrucor Ramirez

''There is nothing to fear there son. Of course, those big arms can tare you apart and these teeth could mash the skull of yours... But hey, smile, today you die for the right cause!''

Lasts words of an anonymus acolyte

''Step one: Aim (facultative)

Step two: Pull trigger

Step three: Ask for questions (facultative)''

Instruction manual of a heavy Bolter.

Kage2020 said:

Player-made quotes, not Games Workshop or "canon" quotes. Please read the opening post.

"There's no such thing as daemons..."

Famous last words of guardsman Girt Sacco.

"I swear that cherubim just looked at me funny."

Abitrator Marina Ovinko.

"Trust is a prequisite for betrayal"

- old saying amongst Interrogators

Blood is Life.

Blood is Death.

The Power is in the Blood.

Blood for the Emperor.

Rashid ad Din Sinan - Assassin Moritat at the cleansing of a temple to Nergal during which the psyker (now nicknamed 'Carrie') suffered the perils of the warp summoning a blood rain during which she also summoned a minor demon.

Well, it's not final words, but an honorable mention, none-the-less.

My party (I was a psyker who had caused several monumental Perils of the Warp in previous sessions, the GM's girlfriend was a Battle Sister, and a new guy was an Arch-Militant) was captured by a Tzeentch cult, and tossed into a room full of cultist psykers. There were about thirteen of them, not counting their leader.

GM: The leader of the cult tries to take over your mind using Dominate. Roll to resist.

I rolled and ended up getting Psychic Mirror, which reflects the spell right back. The psyker ended up on the Perils of the Warp table too, with Blood Rain.

GM: Um...Give me about ten minutes to sort this out... o.O

-Half an hour later-

GM: I think I've got it. The leader leans his head back as his eyes explode and blood sprays out from his eyes after looking directly into the Warp through your eyes. Any psychic powers automatically cause Perils of the Warp for...*rolls* four turns. All the other psykers, realizing their leader has been killed somehow, simultaneously use Force Bolt. *Spends about ten minutes just rolling perils of the warp* Okay, so four of them turn into demons, six of them disappear, and the rest just collapse to the floor. *puts one daemon for each Chaos god on the table*

Sister of Battle PC: *glares at me* Again? You better fix this.

GM: The fire demon tries to use pyrokinesis, and gets "Soul Sear". His fire goes out, and he vanishes. The others start their attacks, eating the remains of the unconscious psykers and other followers of Tzeentch.

My party uses conventional weapons on the demons.

GM: The demons finish eating the followers, and use their daemonic attacks. *rolls Perils of the Warp* And...two disappear, and the other one self-destructs.

Arch-Militant who just started this session: What...just happened?

GM: *points to me* HE just happened.

Arch-Militant: H...How...?

GM: *shrugs as I pull out a tally sheet of Perils of the Warp and adds the bunch from this freak accident to it* He's the Warp's favorite chew toy, and it would never let it's favorite toy get taken away from it. By the way Guido, you've caused so many perils of the warp now that several demons know you by name. Put Peer(daemons) on your character sheet.

Other such times, previous to this, include: Vice Versa on a boss battle when I'm closest to it, Daemonhost just before getting hit with a powerfist, and a couple times when I caused everyone around me to get a glimpse of the Warp.

guidojacobs2002 said:

This came about during my last rpg chapter where my character had taken it upon herself to "cleanse" a blighted schola which was producing some rather interesting antagonists for me to chase around Malfi. Eventually, as one might assume, I got bored with trying to be subtle.

Broadcast by Interrogator Lavana Talon upon her arrival to the Schola Progenium "Our Martyred Lady of Calypse":

"To those who have strayed from His on Earth's most radiant gaze know this; He has seen into the perverted and twisting confines of your souls and judged you unworthy. In righteous fire you shall be cleansed of this world and in barbed and hallowed shackles presented before Him for your impure essence to be expunged from His holy presence. I am the herald of his verdict and it is with the greatest pleasure that I carry out the sentence he has decreed for you. Sinners, I have come.'"

To add fuel to the fire so to speak I had with me a squad of Adepta Sororitas and after they had razed the place to the ground I called in an orbital bombardment from the very accommodating Navy and erased the building (and mountain it happened to be perched on) from the planet.

I was totally rocking my influence rolls there.

A minor functionary was denying the group access through the gate, much like the "Wizard sees no one today!" bit, his face peering through a small opening. The missionary just taps his nose with a shock maul, and down goes the peon.

*Thud* "Oh, no, Charlie!"

Missionary: "Let us all reflect on the follies of Charles the Foolhardy, and open the damned door!"

"Loyalty is the only quality I seek, all other qualites with out it makes you simply a strong enemy. If I find you disloyal I will torture you relentlessly until you cry from my gaze alone, then I will purge your mind and leave you a drolling imbecile for all the imperium to mock."

-excerpt From Inquisitor Nimon's speach to the children of the Schola Progneum.

An old one from my first Dh campaign (I only saw it after the whole thing was done)

Long story short, the cell is on a 1920s-esque world where, after a few people got turned into drooling mutants by tainted contraband liquor (hey, it IS the 1920s there FOREVER) some Dark Eldars arrvies to make a raid (turns out they planned the whole thing) and the PC calls Inquisitor Skane to get her an update.

First thing she said when her face appeared on screen seeing her acolytes calling her: "I wasn't expecting that."

NOBODY EXPECTS INQUISITIONAL ACOLYTES! (even the inquisitor)

"In the grim and perilious future of the 41st Milennia there are no safety measures. There is only war"

-Unknown GM after the players complained about a gantryway with no handrails and the unecessary danger it would cause.

"Its a Xenos and an intelligeant one! Clearly it has a diabolical plan we must THWART! Given that we all work for the most holy inquisition I say we must arm them with knowledge! Knowledge of the threat and its vile non organic plans! Now just give me some space while I procede to infiltrate its very mind and divulge the secrets of the plan we must THWART! Surely nothing can stop us now!"

-My Psyker player's ingame overdramatic speech about why trying to mess with a crystalline Xenos's mind was a good thing. Tune in next week to see if its followed be 'Oops'.

(Maybe not grim and dark, but It at the time was quite hilarious)