Damn It Feels Good to be a Spider

By MarthWMaster, in Legend of the Five Rings: The Card Game

[suikotsu]

**** it feels good to be a Spider

A real badass kensai laughs at honor

A real badass kensai makes 'em run away in fear

'Cuz real badass kensai's **** fright'ning

And Spiders gonna kill some oni

Showing all the Clans how they got 'em

But real badass kensai be deceivin'

'Cuz real badass kensai know they brought 'em

And everything's cool in the Ivory Wastes

'Cuz badass kensai hate idlin'

Up in the jungles just taming that land

'Cuz real badass kensai don't sleep

And all I gotta say to you

Etiquette, delicate, sin-denying always lying rival Clans

Is when the Taint comes back what the **** you gonna do?

**** it feels good to be a Spider

[sandayu]
**** it feels good to be a Spider

Helping the peasants, turning 'em against the crown
Although I was born in the Colonies

Now I'm in the mainland making rounds
**** it feels good to be a Spider
I mean one that no one really knows
Riding around the land on a giant-ass wyrm

Iaido duelists I be layin' them low

Now badass kensai come in all mons and colors

Some got killed in the past

But this kensai here is a smart one

By the Law of Shourido I'll last

And all I gotta say to you

Etiquette, delicate, sin-denying always lying rival Clans
Is when the Taint comes back what the **** you gonna do?
**** it feels good to be a Spider

And now, a word from your Emperor.

[Kanpeki]
**** it feels good to be a Spider
Marching on down Toshi Ranbo

Everything lookin' good to the people of the world

But my daddy's family is yo' boss

So how you like me now, you Unicorn dupes

Now that I did what you couldn't do

So bow to your new Emperor right now

Or I'll bust you like a fool

So the rest will know to keep supporting me

And I promise to take you very far

All you Daimyo better not upset me

Or I'll send a million ghuls to kill your Clan

To all you Scorpions, that let me win
I'd sincerely like to thank you

'Cuz now I got the world broken like a twig

And **** it feels good to be a Spider

—What happens when you have too many days off in a row

[suikotsu]

A real badass kensai laughs at honor

As you probably know Suikotsu-kun, problems start when honor laughs back ;) .

Etiquette, delicate, sin-denying always lying rival Clans

Is when the Taint comes back what the **** you gonna do?

If history is any measure then:

- The Phoenix starts practicing Maho and summon Oni to fight fire with fire or something like that. Then they fall to the Taint but it will be okay because they will be really-really sorry about it.

- The Lion gets into yet another civil war or attack another clan (most likely the Crane) because of reasons.

- The Crab fails to do anything, and only makes the situation worse somehow.

- The Unicorn... well, they won't really care because their naivety is a bliss. If things becomes truly bad, then they will run away back to the Burning Sands. Shinjo might or might not die again.

- The Crane embraces the Taint. I mean, it is not like half the Daigotsu family isn't ex-Crane, right? Their self-pitying whining will never end, though.

- The Mantis will just enjoy the chaos and use it to ****** more power for their clan.

- The Dragon gets incapacitated by some sort of supernatural threat that is largely unrelated to the ongoing conflict.

- The Scorpion goes all-ninja, as usual, and they will be completely useless, as usual.

- The Mantis will just enjoy the chaos and use it to ****** more power for their clan.

Perhaps you missed the part where almost all of the Yoritomo Family, and many other Mantis, were supposed to die squaring off against Jigoku. :P

Ah, the Glory of Onyx Edition! Located somewhere between Maigo no Musha and Yume-do....

- The Mantis will just enjoy the chaos and use it to ****** more power for their clan.

Perhaps you missed the part where almost all of the Yoritomo Family, and many other Mantis, were supposed to die squaring off against Jigoku. :P

Yeah, and after that, their choices were something like getting filthy rich, melt some Minor Clans into koku, or just rebuild and continue from where it fell apart. I can't remember if they had any sort of "go down with a blaze of glory" option.

[suikotsu]

A real badass kensai laughs at honor

As you probably know Suikotsu-kun, problems start when honor laughs back ;) .

I'd love to have gotten closure to the whole Tashime plot thread. He was awesome.

Yeah, and after that, their choices were something like getting filthy rich, melt some Minor Clans into koku, or just rebuild and continue from where it fell apart. I can't remember if they had any sort of "go down with a blaze of glory" option.

Our options were based on rebuilding the Clan. We got (were going to get) the 'Blaze of Glory' option , minus it being optional. We didn't get the collaborator option more Clans were offered.

Mind you, Mantis choices were nothing compared to the giant, bloody mess Spider were given.

Part of the problem, as I understand it, was the Story Team's insistence that the Spider Clan, and the Shadowlands Horde, be treated as one and the same. A great number of the Spider's playerbase wanted their Clan to find its own place in the Empire, whether in truth or with a hidden subversive intent, while the rest wanted the faction to revert entirely to its former state.

Part of the problem, as I understand it, was the Story Team's insistence that the Spider Clan, and the Shadowlands Horde, be treated as one and the same. A great number of the Spider's playerbase wanted their Clan to find its own place in the Empire, whether in truth or with a hidden subversive intent, while the rest wanted the faction to revert entirely to its former state.

I think that may have to do with the Crab's identity being so tied so closely to the role of "defenders against the Shadowlands." It is really hard to involve the non-Yasuki Crab in stories that do not involve the Shadowlands or Taint in one way or another.

Part of the problem, as I understand it, was the Story Team's insistence that the Spider Clan, and the Shadowlands Horde, be treated as one and the same. A great number of the Spider's playerbase wanted their Clan to find its own place in the Empire, whether in truth or with a hidden subversive intent, while the rest wanted the faction to revert entirely to its former state.

I think that was Brand, not Story.

Cutting down on numbers of factions and what have you usually came from the Brand end of things,and then Story were told to make it work.

Note that not all AEG-offered paths were created equal-the Phoenix options were incredibly boring, the Crab options were very binary, and the Mantis options were a gigantic "oh God we're so sorry your faction got nuked without any input from anyone outside of the company."

Note that not all AEG-offered paths were created equal-the Phoenix options were incredibly boring, the Crab options were very binary, and the Mantis options were a gigantic "oh God we're so sorry your faction got nuked without any input from anyone outside of the company."

To say nothing of the Dragon's options. A lot of them were kind of on rails, I think, from a variety of directions.

Also note that while the first few choices had "side with the Spider" as an option, those quickly went away, since the feedback was overwhelmingly against "siding with the bad guys who years of the plot to date have informed us are doomed to eventual shattering defeat."

If I remember correctly they did try and convince us as Unicorn to chose option 2, Alliance. There was a strong push to do so, and to chose Spider. However there was even a stronger push against that option, mainly for its drawbacks.

LOOSE your identity as a clan, become the clan of your alliance. There was also no clause in there that said the clan you chose to ally with will be grateful. It was noted that other clans will see you as playing favorites, and will confront you in various methods for choosing Alliance. It also gave the allied clan the option to turn against us on their whim, and blame us should anything go wrong. That was why option 1 for us was more popular, but we were even divided on that between protecting the peasants, and arming them and conscripting them into defending themselves. Overall though our options were not nearly as bad as other clans were given.