Perhaps a quick & dirty solution might be to offer an option similar to the following:
Talent (A La Carte): You may purchase any talent, from any tree, at any time by paying 1.5x (round up to the nearest 5) the listed XP cost +5 XP per talent previously purchased in this way. Increase the cost to 2x for talents in specs that the character does not have within their career and 2.5x (round up to the nearest 5) for talents in specs that the character does not have outside of their career . Talents purchased in this way may not be used as a prereq for any other talents.
This would (seem to) largely eliminate the "slacker player doesn't want to spend the time gaining XP" objection as well as potential pitfalls that may come with allowing everything without penalty or restriction.
An interesting approach. Not 100% sold on it just yet, but still a pretty solid suggestion.
Librarian - you should really take a look at Brashfink's work. He addresses (or is working to address) a lot of the concerns you're bringing up.
It seems like the two of you could join forces, at the very least...
I'll take a look at this when I have some spare time at a computer. Work is keeping me really busy this week and I don't have the same online time as I did at the old job (at least not yet; training).