While playing X-Wing and visiting Star Wars related events I often find myself teaching others how to play and answering a lot of questions. I may have a semi-irrational need to guide and instruct others. Here's the thing. My ability to play with plastic ships is higher than my ability to lead. Often times, when answering someone's question or when people come to me by themselves, I find myself barely restraining my sarcasm. Think everyone's been here at least once. You take time to give them a good answer (eg not just the answer you want to hear yourself say), and it completely misses the mark. Say a teen playing a losing match asks you for last-minute advice. After hearing it, they just proceed to do the opposite or something unpredictable. Or let's say a player comes up to you and asks for advice on his list (the list is horrible). After pointing out how to make it better (without saying the list is horrible), the player becomes defensive and flat out says he's gonna make a more extreme version of the same old mistake, and all but says that he's foiled again, but he's gonna try the same thing again.

How to be a mentor without being as sarcastic and deadpan as Obi Wan? In particular, how do I influence people that want to be influenced but don't want to learn the game or change their beliefs? What about people who act self-defeating (either in game or in communication) and are stuck in a loop like a broken record?

Should I just say to myself this is just a game and not bother? Is there a trick to teaching that comes with age or hours of play?

Being a teacher and facilitator of an after school gaming club, I can honestly say that allowing folks to fail is often the best teacher! So, feel free to answer their question or offer advice but follow this by saying, "try what you were going to do and see how it works...then try it the way I showed you and see if it would be better." In this way, you don't get the "Hurt Feelings" responses and all that. Granted, this is a longer (more time intensive) method...but they will most likely learn the lesson you were hoping to teach.

Hope this helps.

1) Preface each criticism with praise. If they propose a list, maneuver, or strategy to you, start by identifying the strengths of their suggestion. Once you've affirmed that their idea has some value, then point out potential weaknesses. This can help disarm people who tend to get defensive.

2) Praise in public, critique in private. This is only relevant when part of a larger group, but when your student does something well, it will boost their confidence for you to praise them in front of everyone. Likewise, it can be a challenge to someones pride to be corrected or critiqued in front of others.

3) Let people make their own mistakes. People often learn a lot more from making their own choices and failing than from following advice and succeeding. Freely tell people both the good and bad of each scenario, but try to avoid pushing a particular approach. Let them use the info you've given them to make the final choice.

4) Go for a little at time. If someone is resisting advice, encourage them to try small changes or tweaks to their approach before large scale changes. Hopefully, they'll see the benefit of the change and will build momentum in that direction. That said, try to balance this with #4 and avoid making the decision for them.

5) Fly Casual. Having fun is more important than winning, optimizing, teaching, learning, etc... Even if your student is in a rut, try to keep things light and fun.

As a teacher, I've learned that it usually in your best interest to not answer questions directly. Instead of giving them the answer to their question or problem, ask them leading questions to help them arrive at the answer. If they show you a list with some less-than-useful cards, say something like, "That's an interesting list. Hey, can you explain what card 'X' is doing in your list? Why did you include card 'Y?'" If they give you an answer, you can say something like, "I see. That's a really great thought, but you know, there's this other card that may do that even better. Your squad should still work similar to how you planned, but I think you'll get better results." In this way, you've validated their analysis, but helped them improve their list at the same time. And then, as Shaner said, if they ignore your advice, let them learn from it. You could even ask, "What do you think wrong that game?" They may point to the list, but they may point to their flying too. Either way, it gives them a chance to improve. (But if they complain about dice, nip that one in the bud. Point out that if they were not using actions like focus and target lock, it really wasn't the dice's fault.)

I know your question is broader than just list critiques, but I think we should encourage new players to try different things and explore options instead of telling them to go straight for tier-1 lists. Most people aren't interested in being competitive right out the gate. Instead, they want to fly fun lists with their new toys. I think it's best to let them have that fun. After all, they're not likely to be going to a 5-round tournament, so consistency isn't as big a deal to them.

If you give advice (the big conditional statement is IF), keep it to just one thing at a time. Most often though, what I have found that works for me, is to ask them a question. Be as leading as possible... "I don't see a lot of synergy between your ace pilots, which one do you like the best?" Let them answer, then ask more directed questions, "So, how do you think you will fly them? In a loose formation, tight or split them up?" Avoid open ended questions if possible (like my first one, but the field was already limited with their list). A good question will direct them to a yes / no answer or a choice of three. The choice of three is the best if at all possible because they are choosing without necessarily realizing they are choosing and have buy-in.

At some point, just say, "Well, let's see how it plays." Whether you play them or someone else does. Then discuss it more. Afterwards, you will see where an obvious weakness is and then you might suggest an upgrade card to help or possibly a different pilot that works with how they were playing. You then have concrete details to talk about from a recent match.

Keep it simple. Keep it concise. Let them want to come back.

Instead of "3 X-Wings with no PS over 8 isn't really going to cut it."

Try:

"What is your plan against Soontir? Statistically it will be unlikely that you will hit him even when you get him in arc with all three of these ships."

Or:

"Ships like Double-droid Han, palpakirk and Corran are basically immune to single target attacks. What is your plan to bring them down?"

Most important is:

Always two you have to be, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice.

Most important is:

Always two you have to be, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice.

What an oddity. Username: IG88E (Scum) Photo: A-Wing (Rebel) Quote: Sith Saying (Imperial)

Are you always this balanced in your approach to life?

Most important is:

Always two you have to be, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice.

What an oddity. Username: IG88E (Scum) Photo: A-Wing (Rebel) Quote: Sith Saying (Imperial)

Are you always this balanced in your approach to life?

Nice one!

You can just tell them why their squad is bad and explain why expose on Mauler is worse than push the limit.

Nothing necessitates you have to be sarcastic about it.

When you face a new player that has like 2 x wings and an a wing and a bunch of ordnance, ask him if he'd like for you to build a power squad for him with what he has and explain why it's good.

Given your responses to some of my own posts here I'd say I have a hard time believing that you actually want to be a mentor. I'd simply not worry about it if it made me feel so conflicted. Deadpan em I say.

Exhibit A:

Given your responses to some of my own posts here I'd say I have a hard time believing that you actually want to be a mentor. I'd simply not worry about it if it made me feel so conflicted. Deadpan em I say.

Exhibit A:

Given your responses to some of my own posts here I'd say I have a hard time believing that you actually want to be a mentor. I'd simply not worry about it if it made me feel so conflicted. Deadpan em I say.

Exhibit B. See Homemade Dial thread...

Seriously though, if you feel like people ignore your advice, then don't worry about it. Why are you even trying to mentor people anyways? Especially randoms. Get a Padawan and call it a day.

Besides, aren't you a Bounty Hunter? You should get a droid to be your apprentice.

Exhibit A:

Given your responses to some of my own posts here I'd say I have a hard time believing that you actually want to be a mentor. I'd simply not worry about it if it made me feel so conflicted. Deadpan em I say.

Exhibit B. See Homemade Dial thread...

Seriously though, if you feel like people ignore your advice, then don't worry about it. Why are you even trying to mentor people anyways? Especially randoms. Get a Padawan and call it a day.

Besides, aren't you a Bounty Hunter? You should get a droid to be your apprentice.

Wait, you're personally calling me out for being snide towards a forum user who admitted to conning the customer service off of a free ship?

I'm not even going to do damage control here, this is pure sithposting and trolling.

Conning the customer service rep?

Wow, okay buddy. I think you know what my response to that is.

Let them build any list they like. No matter how silly.

Then take a sub-optimal list against them yourself.

As your apprentice learns the game the lists and skill will improve and you can both incrementally step up the game.

Now I know your self proclaimed mentorship is total baloney too. I'm gonna be a mentor, but I hate it when people don't listen! Sounds like YOU need a mentor. Immature whiny brat.

But hey, I'm a con-man right? Took that squint right outta everyones pocket I did, and you know what? I'll do it again.

Immature, whiny brat, you say?

It's got something to do with making them wax your car I believe.

Let's all settle down here and NOT discuss this like Han and Greedo.

*loosens the top of his holster*

Well there ya go. Anyone want to be mentored by this dude? He can't even take what he dishes out.

Well there ya go. Anyone want to be mentored by this dude? He can't even take what he dishes out.

Do you talk to your mom the same way as your friends? Do you talk to your co-workers the same as to your boss? Do you address a police officer like you would a 4-year old?

In our society, you adjust your behavior depending on your circumstances. Just because you feel he is being a jerk on an internet forum, doesn't mean he treats those he mentors the same way.

Also, Hondo basically came on here to say, "Hey, I keep needing to mentor people but I'm not doing it very well. Any ideas how I can improve?" So by his own admission he's not a great mentor right now. So just what are you trying to show by saying he's a bad mentor? He already admits that and you want to fuel this fire somehow? You just came into this constructive thread and started slinging insults. If you have a problem with what he said to you in your dials thread, go quote him back there. What you're doing now is making it personal instead of focusing on the topic at hand.

A few tips:

- Offer advice only when asked

- Don't go too deep into maths (I make that mistake, lol)

- Let them do their own mistakes.

- Lead by example

During competitions, that last one gets transformed into:

- "Crush your opponents without a hint of mercy" (while staying polite, fair and following the rules, naturally)

You'd be amazed at how much people are suddenly willing to listen to you when you won 3 competitions in a row and the last game you played against player X, he barely grazed your shields

Well there ya go. Anyone want to be mentored by this dude? He can't even take what he dishes out.

Do you talk to your mom the same way as your friends? Do you talk to your co-workers the same as to your boss? Do you address a police officer like you would a 4-year old?

In our society, you adjust your behavior depending on your circumstances. Just because you feel he is being a jerk on an internet forum, doesn't mean he treats those he mentors the same way.

Also, Hondo basically came on here to say, "Hey, I keep needing to mentor people but I'm not doing it very well. Any ideas how I can improve?" So by his own admission he's not a great mentor right now. So just what are you trying to show by saying he's a bad mentor? He already admits that and you want to fuel this fire somehow? You just came into this constructive thread and started slinging insults. If you have a problem with what he said to you in your dials thread, go quote him back there. What you're doing now is making it personal instead of focusing on the topic at hand.

Well actually everybody gets the same. It never goes over well with cops, but then again when can you ever tell a 4 year old anything?

I figure if Hondo was really looking to improve his leadership ability then I think he would have handled his response to my other thread more diplomatically, rather than deadpanning me and writing me off as a conman. Then when I call him out on that as an example of his own failings I get hit with the brush again? Seems like he really just wants people to listen to him, rather than provide mentorship. I could go back and repost on the other thread, but I think I have quite clearly illuminated my position there. I could have just blasted Hondo on the forum, but instead chose to PM him. If he can call me a cheater then I can inform him of my opinion too right. What purpose does it serve to post my PM here? To make me look like a jerk? Well gee, that must have been a news flash. Can't spoil rotten fruit can ya? Lol

You want to mentor people but don't want to listen to their problems? Sounds like an ego fluff to me.