45. My stormtroopers will be trained in force resistance.
"These are not the droids you're looking for..."
"Yes they are. Unit 183, kill this Jedi scum."
If I ever command a Stormtrooper unit
The list so far:
1. My Stormtroopers will remember that A: their weapons have a stun setting. and B: Their weapons have a full auto setting. They will make use of both.
2. My Stormtroopers are authorized to use deadly force always.
3. My Stormtroopers, if stationed planetside on a standard terran like planet will replace their O2 canisters with cans of red bull, they are the same size and serve a more practical purpose.
4. Anyone who insults my E-11 (called Daisy, and it will have a daisy sticker on it) will be shot.
5. If a rebel is knocked down, if capture is impractical my Stormtroopers will Aayla Secura the *****.
6. My Stormtroopers will recognize that they are trained in hand to hand and physical training. Grabbing the wrist of a jedi and headbutting him is a valid tactic.
7. My Stormtroopers will never be afraid to fire first. We are an evil empire, and are not trying to capture hearts and minds. That's the ISB's job.
8. Air Support, Air Support, Air Support.
9. If a hostile incapacitates several members of the squad, and we get the drop on her. We shoot. Either stun (see 1) or full auto (1) She goes down.
10. If some jumped up hopelessly unlucky ISB git kills one of my troopers by kicking him off a ledge into a bottomless pit. He is considered an enemy combatant. See 1, also 4.
11. Single combat is for the guys with glowsticks. We have automatic weapons.
12. I will have them practice running around in tight spaces.
13. They will also learn the value of cover.
14. if they must carry O2 cannisters for ops within a safe atmosphere, they may remember their armour and suits are sealed, and chemical gas is effective.
15. I will requisition lightsabres and duct tape, duct tape of course being a good substitute for the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and binds the galaxy together. In this case it'll bind the lightsabre to the E-11, making a handy bayonet.
16. While the value of cover is important (see 13.) It is important to note that we have grenades.
17. My stormtroopers will have custom helmets with bigger eye-slits so they can see WTF they are doing. See #6, 7, 11, 12, 13, and 16. You can't hit what you can't see.
18. They will remember that thy holy E-11 (and Daisy, a holy E-11) has a scope with direct helmet feed. For uses. See 13 and 17.
19. The DLT-19 does not have a full auto setting. it has a REALLY full auto setting. Use it.
20. The T-21 and T-21 B are kings of open terrain warfare. The puny rebel DH-17 is not.
21. White is an excellent camouflage for snow, starship interiors, even deserts at a pinch when covered in sand. Not forests, marshes, swamps or jungle. Your units armour may be painted accordingly.
22. (referencing a D20 game here) When ordered to destroy a base's computer to prevent it's information getting into rebel hands, do NOT confuse the order for destroying the base and every (imperial) soldier inside it! (as the GM of this game, I was in tears, I think i was rolling around on the ground at one point, player miscommunication to each other is the best). (due to the epic fail of this player, vader choked him).
23. My storm troopers wil have riot shields and lightsabers, as Ralph Mcquarrie intended them!
24. My stormtroopers will not hit their heads on doorways.
25. My stormtroopers will ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO HIT WHAT THEY ARE SHOOTING AT.
26. My Stormtroopers will all be incredibly beautiful women .. who make love and not war.
26.b My stormtroopers will be sectioned off into various units. I will have two bodyguard sections - one of which created from Ronda Rousey clones, the other from Sasha Grey.
The Grey Clones will be for ceremonial purposes only.
27. Each squad will have at least one designated marksman with a T-21B, and dedicated gunner with a DLT-19 - unless deployment location makes this prohibitive.
28. My Stormtroopers will be given bayonets and taught how to use them in coordination with hand-to-hand CC.
29. My Stormtroopers will be given blue diagonal shoulder capes to set them apart from the usual rank-and-file.
30. My Stormtroopers will be dangerously genre-savvy.
31. My Stormtroopers will be dangerously cheesey.
32. My Stormtroopers will carry lightsaber pikes and heavy blaster pistols. Because knights of the Empire! (Seriously. Shining armor, capes. What else are they going to be?)
33. My stormtroopers will be proficient in the use of the following mini rigs/ vehicles: MTV-7, INT-4, ISP-6, CAP-2, AST-5 aswell as any captured MLC-3.
34. My stormtroopers wil follow "Rule 34". No Exceptions!
35. My stormtroopers will be commanded by General Welch.
36. My storm troopers will not be fooled by two idiots who put on armor and pretend that they are among our ranks. We don't want another "Death Star Incident"
37. If on patrol my stormtroopers hear a rustling on the branches, an entire fireteam will investigate.
Should that fireteam not return, another patrol will not be sent out, instead the area will be wide area bombarded by artillery.
38. If my stormtroopers actually must protect an installation in a dense forest or jungle, the forest will be cleared with either fire or planticide for at least 300 metres around said installation.
39. When off-duty, my Stormtroopers will be encouraged to do community service for the locals.
40. My Stormtroopers will not extort, nag, or bully the locals any more than necessary to complete their assigned duties.
40b: Even if they are aliens.
40c: Unless they are gungans.
41. In the event of overwhelming opposition (lol), they will withdraw to their massive fleet of Star Destroyers and pound the fuzzy Ewoks from orbit.
42. They will wear camouflage suitable to the terrain they are deployed in.
43. They get trained by the Hand of Justice.
44. They only follow plans approved by Grand Admiral Thrawn or one of his trusted commanders.
45. My stormtroopers will be trained in force resistance.
Lightsaber pikes, riot shields and blasters, all trained in combined arms.
They use active camo when terrain requires, blue and environmentally-sealed gold when not. (With better helmet visibility.)
They oppress, but oppress charitably; and are generally tolerated if not accepted in most areas they conquer.
They bomb when the fireteams don't call in, are trained in force resistance, and may or may not all be smoking hot party-girls under their armor.
We invented the Knights of Zakuul.
May God have mercy on our souls.
(Edit: And they are commanded by a man named Darius who owns a gun named Daisy. Go figure.)
Edited by OneKelvin
Also a gun called Lucy - my T-21B. Daisy is the E-11.
46. The Imperial march, while catchy has negative overtones. As such, my stormtroopers for morale purposes will have an alternate anthem - Kenny Loggins - Danger zone.
Incidentally, this is the secondary anthem of my TIE Corps, the primary being the top gun theme (Tertiary being "ivory tower", from the neverending story soundtrack).
47. My Stormtroopers will readily understand both Base Delta Zero and Exterminatus In Extremis (see 45). Planets will be assessed on the necessity of these drastic actions prior to initial engagements, so that destroyers will be in position to selectively bombard where required -minimizing both friendly fire and losses to hostile forces.
Edited by DariusAPB48. Just use Imperial Navy Commandos, Dark Troopers, Rad troopers, and Sea Assault Trooper. All previous criteria will be met... except Navy Commandos are not Storm Troopers, is this a problem?
49. Use Terror Troopers for resource denial and for killing GE Imperials using IOM Imperial terminology. There's only one Emperor and he sits on an obsidian thrown.
46. The Imperial march, while catchy has negative overtones. As such, my stormtroopers for morale purposes will have an alternate anthem - Kenny Loggins - Danger zone.
Officer DariusAPB
Your suggestion has been duly noted but we regret to inform you that "Danger Zone" is still negative. But other songs seem to have better results, even succeeding in bringing out Darth Vader's happy:
46. The Imperial march, while catchy has negative overtones. As such, my stormtroopers for morale purposes will have an alternate anthem - Kenny Loggins - Danger zone.
Officer DariusAPB
Your suggestion has been duly noted but we regret to inform you that "Danger Zone" is still negative. But other songs seem to have better results, even succeeding in bringing out Darth Vader's happy:
STOP! Vader time!
49. Use Terror Troopers for resource denial and for killing GE Imperials using IOM Imperial terminology. There's only one Emperor and he sits on an obsidian thrown.
HERESY
50. My stormtrooper's armor will actually be able to absorb hits, unlike this one hit kill nonsense you see in some other squadrons. (Coughallofthemcough)
49. Use Terror Troopers for resource denial and for killing GE Imperials using IOM Imperial terminology. There's only one Emperor and he sits on an obsidian thrown.
HERESY
Ok sometimes the thrown is silver, no golden throwns were used in the making of the Galactic Empire XD
51. Ewok don't surf.
Also a gun called Lucy - my T-21B. Daisy is the E-11.
46. The Imperial march, while catchy has negative overtones. As such, my stormtroopers for morale purposes will have an alternate anthem - Kenny Loggins - Danger zone.
Incidentally, this is the secondary anthem of my TIE Corps, the primary being the top gun theme (Tertiary being "ivory tower", from the neverending story soundtrack).
Another good alternate:
52. My stormtroopers will be able to ride on their speeders without crashing. Seriously guys, why do you own them if all you do is smash into trees?
53. My Stormtroopers will look around corners before rushing off.
54. My Stormtroopers will delegate non-storming duties to members of the Imperial Army or Navy rather than being used for general guard duty.
General Guard Duty!
*salutes
55. My Stormtrooper armor will have servo motors in the armpits automatically bringing the rifle up to the shoulder for ease of aiming. These motors will be called In. Accuracy Correctors.
56. My stormtroopers will take precautions to make sure that their space station cannot be blown up just by shooting the exhaust port.
57. My Stormtroopers will read the manual for their heavily updated, servo-motored, blast-resistant armor. Twice.
58. My stormtroopers will be given free health and dental care.
Seen that before, you know back when there was talk of a re-done star wars OT I figured that's what stormies would look like. I also imagined X-wings with forward swept wings and bubble canopies.
I WISH I had the money for an armour like that...
Edited by DariusAPB59. In the movies, the extras that play my stormtroopers will be chosen from people with police or military experience; same for the rebel elite. The actors that play stormtroopers will be given boot camp like they were auditioning for a real military role .
No more goof-troopers.
As an aside, I really think there should be a heavier focus on using former military advice and extras in the construction of modern science fiction.
As a generation we're enamored with the military (at least in it's politics-free science-fiction form), yet I find it rare that when creating armies, units, guns or the like that developers, authors or directors ever consult any sort of real military persons.
The aversion to using real-life inspiration in this area is confusing to me, and I think the quality of our fiction could be improved dramatically with a little bit of consultation.
That's fair, or at the least do the 40k route and codify stuff.
60. My Stormtrooper recruits will first undergo and PASS full U.S. Marine training before being accepted. Because if they are to become the best, then they must first learn how it was to be the best. OOH RAH!!!
So, Dutch you mean?
