Q: Why doesn't Obi-Wan drink vodka cocktails?

By Vorpal Sword, in X-Wing Off-Topic

A: Only a Sith deals in Absoluts.

GG

A: Only a Sith deals in Absoluts.

Don't expect to be peppar'd in praise for that joke.

I once dated Ariel, the little mermaid .. she had sea cups

Q: What's red and hurts your teeth?

A: A brick.

Friends are a lot like trees.... they both fall over when you hit them with an axe

Friends are a lot like snowflakes.... they both go away when you pee on them

I once dated Ariel, the little mermaid .. she had sea cups

Too soon.

So that's why he was so up-tight in the Mos Eisley Cantina?

I once dated Ariel, the little mermaid .. she had sea cups

Too soon.

Han Solo was arrested outside the bar: He Stoli this joke.

Reported.

Im completely oblivious to the mermaid thing, then again i've not read the news for a while. I take it its in poor taste and related to some maritime tragedy?

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

How does Luke get through the forest?

Ewoks.

Im completely oblivious to the mermaid thing, then again i've not read the news for a while. I take it its in poor taste and related to some maritime tragedy?

I'm guessing the Mediterranean shipping clustertruck with the immigrants? Dunno, I can't fathom a connection.

Yeah you see i knew about that in the news but again couldnt see any 'poor taste joke' connection.

Im completely oblivious to the mermaid thing, then again i've not read the news for a while. I take it its in poor taste and related to some maritime tragedy?

I'm guessing the Mediterranean shipping clustertruck with the immigrants? Dunno, I can't fathom a connection.

Yeah you see i knew about that in the news but again couldnt see any 'poor taste joke' connection.

... It's a joke about the size of her bra, guys.

yeah thats what i thought.

So i couldnt understand why someone said 'too soon'.

Usually you get that when someone makes a joke after someone dies.

Right; hence my initial comment.

When in Rome...

How do you make a pacifist cross?

Nail two together.

What's worse than a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.

A pork pie walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager. The bartender yells "get out, we don't serve food!"

The barman says: Get out we dont serve time travellers here

Dr who walks into a bar...

A priest and a rabbi walk into a heavy metal bar.

The priest says "Ouch!"

What does a Jawa drink in the Cantina?

Martiniiii!

A man walks in a bar,

with two dogs

two cats

two parrots

two mice

two gold fish in a bowl

a pair of horses

two cows

two ducks

a pair of pigeons

two orangutans

two zebras

two foxes

a pair of giraffes

two donkeys

a chicken and a rooster

two penguins

two snakes

two badgers

a pair of lions

two kangaroos

two alligators

one elephant, no wait there's the other one

two hippos

a pair of oxen

two buffalo

a pair of brown bears

two grizzly bears

two polar bears

two ferrets

between 1 and 3 monkeys

two bats

and more and more...

And the barkeep sais: "Hmm It must be raining outside."

Edited by Robin Graves