For the life of me, I cannot figure out how to private message people via this forum.

Can you not do this, is the option hidden somewhere?

Step 1: Click on your profile (you can find it on the upper right of every page in the FFG site after you've logged in).

Step 2: Click on the " My Friends " tab in the " Friends " section of " Profile Options ". You can find this at the left part of your screen, under your avatar (you may need to scroll down a bit).

Step 3: Click on the e-mail icon next to any of your friends.

Step 4: ???

Step 5: Profit!

Hope that helps.