Right!

So anyone who might have read my other threads (Adventure Collaboration and Adventure Advice) will know I was trying to flesh out the 'prep' part of Under a Black Sun.

While I swung back and forth between creating something others could use, to thinking "this is too specific to my group", and back again, I decided I would write down what I was planning on throwing at my group, just in case anyone could use it, and just as practice at actually creating something of this nature (Layout and style methods).

This is the first 5 pages of what I have done, and it is far from finished, but I would love any advice on style, layout, language, descriptions.. everything really. Its very much a showcase of my abilities. (I will be putting the appropriate symbols into the dice roll difficulties)

I have tried to keep it vague in areas, so others can tailor it to their needs (In my case, ive not mentioned Thaka in this, but he plays a large role in putting my PCs towards this task).

It certainly isnt as polished as FFGs own stuff... but of course, I am not a professional, and my tools are limited. But I still want to know what you all think.

Cheers

EDIT:

This is now the most current version. We have added in the suggestions whafrog has made about finding the building, and I think we can consider this pretty much finished.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-cK7UE7hkkceVd0UDFmTU5tak0/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3DdrJIlZ2ZNUkc2VlA1SGlMa1k/view?usp=sharing

Both links go to the same file, one on Hoolys drive and one on mine.

My huge thanks to GM Hooly for his stellar work on taking my original work, and giving it a huge polish.

I hope you can all find this useful, and if anyone play tests this, feedback would be hugely appreciated. I plan to run this myself in the next few weeks, and see how it goes.

RD

Need a log in to get to it...at least on my iPad...

http://1drv.ms/1GqHQLK

Try that... im new to all this sharing stuff... failing that, I could email it to you.

http://1drv.ms/1C0nDrK that might give you access to the entire folder

I ran this sort of adventure as a prequel story that explains how my group came together, since Under a Black Sun was our first adventure with these original characters. I did a Reservoir Dogs style job where the crew was assembled and anonymous to one another. It worked out pretty great.

Couple of things:

1) You need the following Fonts:

Electra Light Pro

Electra Medium Pro

EotE Font

2) May I suggest that if you are using Word for your adventure creation, that you save as a PDF or get CutePDF as a free download and print to a PDF. That way you will get the symbols to be added to the document correctly.

I have CutePDF... the file IS a PDF. It opens in Word simply because im using OneDrive, which is Microsofts Cloud storage system.

The title fonts ARE Elextra Medium.

And I already said I was going to swap in the proper dice symbols.

Althought I am not convinced Elektra Light is the same font for the bulk of the text.

Drat I was hoping this was about a newly announced Black Sun Sourcebook.

Drat I was hoping this was about a newly announced Black Sun Sourcebook.

Very helpful

http://1drv.ms/1NJpaci

OK this is the final version. Its only 7 pages long, but its only a prelude.

I would love feedback, both on the layout and design, as well as the content. Its fully up for addition and editation.

If the link doesnt work, let me know, and Ill try and fix it.. But it should be viewable to anyone with the link.

(Also added to the Original Post)

So you are saying that the latest version has the symbols contained therein? Because I can tell you, they are not imbedded given the download you have provided.

Layout and design looks fine to me (unless you can get those dice symbols going, but that's a small detail). The dialog suggestions can be handy (more below), and the skill options seem good.

The only thing I had questions about was finding the building. It's not really clear how they will find it. What is it about the building that gives it away, are there distinguishing markings? The Streetwise roll is PP just to get in the right neighbourhood, but they could still fail it, and then what? It seems to me everything hinges on finding the building...this is one of those classic "don't roll a skill if failure becomes a roadblock". If you don't want the Pykes to just give them the address, I think you need to be more specific (and open) about how the building is found. They need to follow a person or vehicle, use a scanner to pick up a telltale signal, or...?

Last general point, kind of exemplified with the guard: while it's nice to have some of this scripted, try not to lean to heavily on it in-game. It's great to have notes about what particular NPC might say in a given situation, but as you get more practice, you'll find the more important thing is how the NPC thinks and what motivates them. Then what they say comes naturally. Do they like their job? Are they having marital troubles? Are they an exemplary employee, smarter than they look, and waiting to make their mark? Are they a double agent for the Hutts? The reason these are more important is they will inform what the NPC says in a far broader range of situations. If the players don't ask any of the questions you listed, you don't have a scripted answer. But if you describe the NPC as a guy who doesn't really like his job, could use some extra cash, has a loose tongue when he drinks, and doesn't want to get into trouble, then all those dialog options are available and then some. Plus, you have a better idea of how far he can be pushed.

@GM Hooly. That was the intention, but I forgot to put them in and only realised this morning. It should be fixed now. Anything constructive?

@whafrog.

Yes, the dice symbols were an oversight that i forgot to add, they are in there now.

As for finding the building... yeah.. I see what your saying, it could be that the Pykes simply gave the address, this is far from a complete adventure in itself, and its the first time ive ever done something along these lines. Its tailored pretty much for my group. But its a good point...

As for the guard, this one didnt get too much thought, I think it spawned from something you said in another thread, and was pretty much conceived and written and published in the span of a couple of hours. Ive thrown it in simply as an alternative (more notes for myself) as I am not even sure if my group will think of trying it.

(I was also limited on space, and didnt want to end up with a huge blank space).

Now im thinking about it, its bugging me....

I suppose the PCs could use the same guard to confirm if its the right building at the same time, or ask about with the locals....

Hmmm...... Ill give it some thought, but any advice is always welcome!

Wow. I thought that was constructive. I'll leave the obviously much more useful feedback to the experts then.

Wow. I thought that was constructive. I'll leave the obviously much more useful feedback to the experts then.

I apologise.

When i read your reply I think I took the tone wrong, and felt it was being nit picky. Which I am sure it was not intended as such, and that fault is mine.

So I apologise if I offended.

OK, so the original file has been updated a number of times to fix formatting errors and a few missing bits pointed out by GM Hooly, and he has kindly provided me a new higher res front cover and stat boxes (Which I think he might be redoing, as they dont seem to display clearly).

I have been giving whafrogs comments lots of thought, but cant seem to pin anything down.

So I am going to wait until I have run this particular adventure, and see if actually playing it grants any inspiration and then add that.

I do want to put an image into the front page, but not sure what, and I certainly dont have anything suitable.

If anyone does run this, feedback would be hugely appreciated and welcome.

Here is an updated version. It still has to go through RebelDave for final approval, and I want to take a look at the story elements based on WhaFrog's suggestions.

Let Rebel Dave (and I if you like) know what you think:

Black Sun Rising v3.1

I like it overall, nicely laid out and easy to follow. I could easily adapt it to my own game, looks like I might have a similar "infiltration" session to plan for coming up. I'd probably give the Diatek employee and the guard a rank in Discipline or some protection against social manipulation to reflect their loyalties and professionalism...and also so I don't always have to go to the DP pool to get a red...

I still have a beef about finding the building because now it's just "several Average checks" rather than one, which violates the rule against "rolling until you succeed", but also provides no drama in those rolls. You can't just rock up to a mafia block and ask where they live...you're just likely to alert the people you're looking for. You need one or more "giveaway" clues. You've already created a couple, but they need to be woven into the narrative.

Personally I might draw a crude map of various rectangles, note which one is the real building, and ask the players where they go. But how about something like this? The clues appear to be (with a couple added):

1. it's one of a few buildings that seems to have a regular patrol of lightly armed guards circling it (and maybe the next couple of buildings either way, just to throw things off for observers).

The idea here is that the clues act like a Venn diagram. Each clue contains a few buildings, but each additional clue weeds out any overlap, and getting the first three clues (or the last one) identifies the building for sure.

Gathering the clues will take time. This also lets you "split the party" if you have other things for the other character to do, you can rotate the scenes. If the PCs spend at least a few days of walking the streets and trying to stay out of sight, they will gather all these clues (one per day). At a minimum, the players will need to make an Average (PP) Stealth roll per day, with added setback each day, and with additional setback if the characters have any distinguishing markings or visit an area too frequently. Three or more Threat will alert the facility that they are being watched. How this plays out later is up to the GM.

The time can be shortened considerably by being more active in their search. An Average (PP) Streetwise roll will identify potential informants, as follows:

Basic Success: a street urchin named Bylg Waters will approach the PCs saying "you guys seem to be looking for something". He seems helpful, but he's a nasty piece of work. He's not sure which building, but pretends to know and points to a building that matches clue #1. "Notice the guards?" he asks. He will sell the PCs out to the guards, unless they pay more than 50 credits (plus 20cr per Threat).

Two or more Successes or Success with 3 or more Advantage: an old woman named Mabeline Skretch who lives on the main floor of a tenement, and waters her space-geraniums on her main floor balcony. "Everybody watching everybody else" she comments if the PCs come close. She doesn't like the idea of the external monitoring on one of the buildings, because she feels "they" are watching her. She'll waste the PC's time with conspiracy theories if they let her, but she'll complain about how several buildings in the area have such monitoring systems, and she can't even go to the grocery store without being in their field of view. These buildings will match clue #2.

Four or more successes, or Triumph: Djak Nymble, another street urchin. Knows there is something shady going on at a couple of buildings, why else would people go around the block several times before entering in the back? These buildings will match clue #3.

As for the individual clues, let the PCs choose which skill they want to use in a given time interval (default is one per half day).

Clue 1. Noting this requires a Hard (PPP) Streetwise, Cool, or Perception check

Clue 2. Noting this requires a Hard (PPP) Mechanics or Computers check

Clue 3. Noting this requires a Hard (PPP) Streetwise, Vigilance, or Perception check

Clue 4. Can only be established after 2 days have passed. A Daunting (PPPP) Streetwise or Hard (PPP) Perception check

Edit: forgot to mention, if they get Clue 1, they can then legitimately follow one of the guards. Even if they pick a guard from a wrong building, it still helps weed out the options.

Yes indeed. Life caught up with me which is why I was lax in updating the original post.

GM Hooly has done a fantastic job redoing the layout.

I will try and work in your ideas whafrog as soon as my brain surfaces from the depressive funk its sunk into again.

Again, huge Thank You to GM Hooly for his work

OP edited to reflect the same file GM Hooly has polished.

whafrogs contributions are something I would like to add, but it depends on time and GM Hooly as I do not have access to the new layout files he has kindly and expertly created.

I hope someone can get some use from this.

So...nobody liked my NPC names?

In all honestly, I kinda generalized the summary of what I set to Hooly...

But ive not heard back from him, and to be fair, he has done an awful lot turning my work into what you see... so unless he decides to add more, what you see is what you get.

I Will Be using you your suggestions in my game however, regardless of what happens with the file.

I wont pressure Hooly to do anymore than he has, he took it on himself to polish my works, for which I am hugely appreciative.

I will get to it. Real life is just getting in the way. That **** family

Snuff them out Hooly. Focus on the task. Stay on target.

Wipe them out...<deep voice>...All of them...

I will get to it. Real life is just getting in the way. That **** family

I know the feeling! Granted, its not family, its mental health, but I know the feeling of stuff getting in the way.

Take all the time you need, you have contributed so much to this I have no way to repay