I'm looking for someone to do some proof reading and glaringly obvious mistakes based on canon to my Campaign Primer:

Located on the borders of Wild Space, in the distant Galactic North-East corner within the galactic region known as The Slice – the territory between the Perlemian Trade Route and the Corellian Trade Spine, described as the “cradle of galactic civilization” – there lies an isolated sector called Dominus.

The sector, which is positioned in the Outer Rim Territories (designation U7-0946/0272) contains at least seven systems of note namely the capital Dominus , the jungle covered world of Ruac , the mysterious Solanus , and the harsh desert world of Solay as well as the worlds of Baros , arid homeworld to the reptilian race called the Brubb; Dornea , the centre of trade in the sector; and Lekaz, only the second system to contain a habitable platform hanging high above the clouds.

At least one hyperspace route, Prously’s Rim Run, runs through the sector, linking Baros and Dornea to the neighboring Calamari sector. Prously’s Rim Run is so named after its founder, the Quarren Explorer Ishtelen Prously who was credited with the hyperlane’s discovery after he intercepted a transmission from the Brubbs of Baros. Prously has also been credited with establishing several other trade routes in the sector, and his effigy stands proudly in the centre of Dornea’s capital city. Several smaller routes connect Dornea to its sister world, and capital of the sector – the Dominus system, but Dornea still remains the jewel of the sector.

EARLY EXPLORATION

The tract of space containing the Dominus sector was first explored sometime between the Great Hyperspace War (5000 years ago) and the Kanz Disorders (3000 years ago). Since then, this area of space was left somewhat to its own devices.

Since then, the Dorneans , an advanced seal-like humanoid race became the leading force within the sector primarily due to their technical abilities and advanced capital ship building methodologies. The Dorneans , without the control of the Republic were able to expand their territories unimpeded and built an arsenal of capital ships. Dorneans controlled the sector and some of its surrounding territories. That was the case until they met the Mon Calamari and their companion race, the Quarren.

THE SITH WAR

Much of the conflict during the war with the Sith Empire occurred elsewhere in the galaxy, but occasionally, Republic Cruisers would be chased to this corner of the galaxy. It is rumoured that at some point, the Sith or Jedi built an Academy or centre of study on one of the worlds within the sector. Many systems have been explored in the hope of finding lost relics of this time period, however no solid evidence has been discovered. Small fragments have been found, and stories circulate from time to time about artifacts being uncovered only to have their finders mysteriously disappear.

THE WAR OF DARKNESS

The three races of the Dorneans , the Mon Cal and the Quarren formed an alliance as explorers and peacekeepers within their sectors. Trade between the systems within the sectors as bountiful, and there was peace which lasted over 4 millennia. That was until approximately 700 years ago when a 50 years period commenced known as The War of Darkness. The conflict began with the attack of the Dornean colony on Leinin by a race unlike any that no race in the sector had seen. With the New Sith War raging in the core worlds, and the Mon Cal’s forces otherwise engaged, the Dorneans were the only thing that stood between the oncoming forces of the race known only as Species X-752, and their complete control of the sector.

System, after system fell, and in the final hours of the war, the Dorneans were pushed back to Dornea , only a handful of operational capital ships as their defence. As the bio-mechanical starships and fighters of Species X-752 emerged from hyperspace, their armaments bearing down on an already beaten world, a strong radio signal was received from somewhere in space. Within minutes, all of the alien vessels either exploded in orbit, or successfully fled Dornea. This event baffled the Dornean people, and over the next 700 years, the race became more militaristic, and isolated. Dornean scientists have since speculated and explored the region in an attempt to find the answer to what occurred, but all evidence pointed at the area known as The Dark Nebula, and to a rough translation of the binary signal comprising of three words – “This Must End”. Countless exploratory vessels have entered the nebula, some returning with little to no evidence, whilst others have failed to return at all. The origin of the signal has never been established, and is the work of many historians and fringe scientists to this day.

After the War of Darkness, the Dominus Sector remained at peace – that was until the Clone Wars began.

THE CLONE WARS

Few wars engulfed the entire galaxy the way that the Clone Wars had. Millions of worlds were drawn into the conflict, and billions of lives were lost. The Dominus Sector, due to its position within the Outer Rim Territories was somewhat isolated in the initial stages of the war, but as the Separatists commenced their campaign of tyranny and control within the Outer Rim, it was not long before the war arrived.

Within days of the Separatist’s arrival, several key systems including Baros , Haenat , Karkaris and Te’Aatorus fell or swore allegiance to Dooku and his Confederacy of Independent Systems. Many systems in the sector soon followed suit, and took sides in the conflict. Within a year, the Clone Wars raged across the Sector. The only system to remain out of the conflict was Dornea .

The Dorneans hunkered down, defending their world at all costs, and made it clear to both Republic and Separatist forces that Dornea was neutral ground. The Dorneans held that any attempt by either side to subjugate the system would be met with deathly force, a threat that was heeded by both sides. However, it was not long before both sides saw the advantage provided by a neutral site within a warzone, and so Dornea became a den of spies and espionage.

The world was often used as a meeting point and safe zone for both Republic and Separatist intelligence operatives. This fact did not escape the gaze of the Dorneans , who allowed the activity to continue. Primarily, the condolence for these activities was for their own intelligence purposes, but it also to allowed the Dorneans the opportunity to make arrests of known spies in order to make examples of them to the galaxy at large, and consequently, made both sides of the conflict aware that their operatives were only guests, who could be dealt with at any time.

Dominus’ main victim in the conflict was the world of Jisoara , a small mining colony contained within a small pocket of space inside the Dark Nebula. Over-mining by Separatist forces resulted in the destruction of the planet’s moon, and further devastation to the planet itself. The system was abandoned and due to the problems associated with getting through the nebula in order to reach the system, the starport and facilities gradually died a natural death. Rumours abound that the system is now being used by pirate gangs who launch specially modified starfighters, able to be used within the cloud, to conduct raids on unsuspecting or lost ships.

THE FALL OF THE REPUBLIC AND RISE OF THE EMPIRE

When the then Supreme Chancellor Palpatine issued Order 66 after the Jedi supposedly made an attempt to take control of the Senate, the war with the Separatists was at its peak within the Dominus Sector. Several Jedi fell in battle at the hands of the Clone Troops within the sector boundaries, and the remaining troops took control of key areas at the orders of Palpatine himself. Unfortunately, the war had taken its toll, and the troops were outnumbered. Without the assistance and support of the Jedi, the Clones were forced back to the systems of Dominus , Indibedi and Ruac . The Clones believed that all they need to do, was hold the line and help would arrive. That help arrived 18 months later.

As the Galactic Empire expanded its sphere of influence within the Outer Rim and into the Dominus Sector, and thus providing the support the dwindling number of Clone Troopers needed, the Empire’s first act was an attempt to take control of the sector’s twin capital, Dornea . Accusing Dornea of harbouring known Separatist sympathisers, along with understanding that Dornea held a specific strategic position within the sector, the Empire through a sizable fleet at the system in order to bring the world under the Imperial banner. The Empire however, underestimated what the Dorneans had been amassing, and consequently, the subjugation failed. After several more failed skirmishes, and little chance of further support from Coruscant to such a “remote sector”, the Empire bolstered their bases within the Dominus , Indibedi , and Ruac system, and liberated the space station on Xelaonti to act as a forward command post. The stalemate continued, but the focus of Dornea dwindled. In the following year, a Sector Moff was designated to the area, and soon after, Dominus was proclaimed as sole capital of the Sector.

Moff Vorpain, a high level bureaucrat, with little to no military background, shifted his focus to the rise in criminal activity within the sector. With Academies now established within the sector, and the Republic Clones all but removed from service, Vorpain was able to rebuild his forces with local loyal recruits in order to deal with the criminal elements such as crime gangs and smugglers, whom the Empire claimed were “exploiting” Imperial citizens.

Meanwhile, the Dorneans , who had opposed the Emperor’s regime since the creation of the Galactic Empire, opened its borders. This, coupled with the system’s former neutrality during the Clone Wars, has continued to make the existence of the system’s independence within the Empire tenable at best. However Moff Vorpain has plans of his own, and although publicly supportive of the system’s independance, has clearly been manipulating things in the background.

Unfortunately for the Empire, the Dorneans had remained vigilant with their near xenophobic lifestyle, and strong naval fleet. This, along with the fact that the system had become the hub of economics and trade within the sector, as well as possessing countless lucrative trade agreements with external sectors, kept the Empire at bay. Through these actions though, the Dorneans have assured themselves that eventually the Emperor will decide that subjugating the system would be a much better use of resources than wasting further time and effort protecting the “rights” of the system’s citizens. In the meantime, the civilised systems within the Dominus Sector are holding their collective breaths, waiting for the inevitable to come.

Intro and Early Exploration:

Interesting. Way to show the Quarran a little love.

Sith War:

Good. Simple, but with some neat adventure hooks.

War of Darkness:

A little... tropey. "Oh and then these horrible aliens invaded until they caught the common cold and just gave up..." Not sure where you're going with that it just seems like a vague ominous threat that you read and say to yourself "OK, we're gonna go into the nebula at some point and fight those guys..." Also just from personal experience, be careful about introducing massive unknown alien threats on top of regional aliens. It's really easy to get so wrapped up in your creation it stops being Star Wars. Though if your players define star wars as Truce at Bakara and the Vong war you might be ok.

Generally though I'd say you can just drop this entire segment and lose nothing.

Clone Wars:

Salright...but only. There's some more room to expand here, and a couple inconsistencies. I do like that much of the sector (Qurran discovered) went sep. The executing of the spies is a little touchy. If the world was adamant about staying neutral it would more likely intern any captured operatives so as not to upset either side. You could also use this to make a better play within the war, with perhaps escaped Republic POWs fleeing to that world. Internment is better then a POW....

Leaving the neighboring nebula astrologically intact would set you up for some nice Space-North Atlantic type action. Have the fighting be something like Missile Corvettes using the nebula for cover to torpedo shipping, similar to Submarine actions and Wolfpacks. This might also leave you a nice little setting of a small corvette tending base hidden in the nebula that might work into what you already seem to have planned and provide a reason for it to be there.

Rise of the Empire:

I know the Empire is "bad" but why try and take a world by force that made such a huge effort to stay neutral? This also goes against several core theme of the Empire. Watch the films and you'll see there's a kind of trend. Either the world is controlled by the Empire... or not really controlled by anyone at all. And the Empire doesn't lose ordinary battles. Besides, after the Clone Wars I get the feeling the fighting was supposed to wrap up fast. A huge failed planetary invasion would cause some problems politically...

You can have some fun with it and keep the conflict though. Vorpain sounds like a perfect dirtbag for the exercising of soft power. Scratch the failed invasion, and have the move to take over be more political in nature. When the Dorneans resist the Moff relocates the capital as you stated (dig that), but proceeds to levy sanctions and taxes. Certain goods (high tech, rare minerals and metals, luxury goods, and of course weapons and materiel) are banned from being shipped to or from Dorean or heavily taxed. Anything the Dorneans want that isn't already on their home world they need to have smuggled or pay through the nose to get. That'll give you a nice isolated feel that you can take for a good blockaded lighthouse or a bad hermit kingdom however the campaign calls it.

War of Darkness:

A little... tropey. "Oh and then these horrible aliens invaded until they caught the common cold and just gave up..." Not sure where you're going with that it just seems like a vague ominous threat that you read and say to yourself "OK, we're gonna go into the nebula at some point and fight those guys..." Also just from personal experience, be careful about introducing massive unknown alien threats on top of regional aliens. It's really easy to get so wrapped up in your creation it stops being Star Wars. Though if your players define star wars as Truce at Bakara and the Vong war you might be ok.

Generally though I'd say you can just drop this entire segment and lose nothing.

I'm wanting to run Otherspace (and later Otherspace II) as part of the campaign at some point, and wanted the Charron to have been to this area, but later disappeared. If you can think of a more interesting method to introduce them historically, that would be cool.

OK, so how's this?:

EARLY EXPLORATION

The tract of space containing the Dominus sector was first explored sometime between the Great Hyperspace War (5000 years ago) and the Kanz Disorders (3000 years ago). Since then, this area of space was left somewhat to its own devices.

As time progressed, the Dorneans , a technologically advanced seal-like humanoid race became the leading force within the sector. The Dorneans had amazing aptitude with technology and possessed some of the most advanced capital ship building methodologies within the galaxy. The Dorneans , without the control of the Republic were able to expand their territories unimpeded and built an arsenal of capital ships which they used to explore and conquer most of the systems within the then Dornean Sector. Dorneans controlled the sector for many years along with some of its surrounding territories. That was until they intercepted a small Mon Calamari fleet and their companion race, the Quarren, entering their sector.

Due to their kindred love of the oceans of their home-worlds, the Dorneans, Mon-Cal, and Quarren for an unusual bond for races so diverse, and in short order, several treaties were signed, allowing the region to be relatively peaceful.

THE SITH WAR

Much of the conflict during the war with the Sith Empire occurred elsewhere in the galaxy, but occasionally, Republic Cruisers would be chased to this corner of the galaxy. It is rumoured that at some point, the Sith or Jedi built an Academy or centre of study on one of the worlds within the sector. Many systems have been explored in the hope of finding lost relics of this time period, however no solid evidence has been discovered. Small fragments have been found, and stories circulate from time to time about artifacts being uncovered only to have their finders mysteriously disappear.

THE WAR OF DARKNESS

The three races of the Dorneans , the Mon Cal and the Quarren had formed an alliance as explorers and peacekeepers within both the Mon Cal and Dornean Sectors many hundreds of years before. Trade between the systems within the sectors was bountiful, and the peace in the sectors had lasted for over 4 millennia. That was until approximately 700 years ago when a 50 years period of war commenced known as The War of Darkness.

The conflict began with the decimation of the Dornean colonies on Leinin and Isleis by a race unlike anyone had ever seen. With the New Sith War raging in the core worlds, and the Mon Cal/Quarren forces otherwise engaged, the Dorneans were the only thing that stood between the citizens of the sector and oncoming forces of the race known only as Species X-752.

System after system was attacked, but through the sheer might and tenacity of the Dornean fleet, the creatures, a race of beings with the body of a spider, and the torso of a humanoid, were pushed back and cornered in the Isleis system. The creatures, using their bio-mechanical starships and fighters fought valiantly to their last ship. Eventually, the creatures were defeated. Several of the smaller alien ships slipped through the blockade of system, their last known trajectories pointed towards the safety of the Dark Nebula. Those ships, were never seen again. Other reports later emerged of several of the ships crashing into the planet itself, however no evidence of impact was ever found.

The arrival of the species baffled the Dornean people, and over the next several hundred years, the Dornean became more militaristic, and isolated. Dornean scientists and survey vessels have since explored the region at length in an attempt to find the answer to what occurred and where the Species X-752 originated. The only evidence ever obtained was from the remains of a bio-computer located within the orbital rings around Maatesso. The device, the remains of what scientists believed was a scout ship of sorts, contained fragments of an unrecognisable data code. Some fragments were translated as coordinates along with an overall plan for the sector, whilst another segment mentioned a point of origin, known only as “Otherspace”.

Many individuals and corporations have attempted to learn more, with countless exploratory vessels entering the nebula over the years, in the hope of returning with some shred of evidence. Most expeditions returned with nothing but the gas produced within the nebula, whilst other vessels have failed to return at all.

With the possible return of Species X-752 always on the minds of the now battle hardened Dorneans , further military outposts were established throughout the sector. Since the Dorneans had suffered heavy losses during the war, the Dornean Military Regime knew their position of power in the sector had wavered, and so a joint alliance between the now primarily human colony of Dominus and Dornea was formed. This gave rise to the sector changing its name to the Dominus-Dornean Sector, so named after its joint twin-system capital systems.

After the War of Darkness, the Dominus-Dornean Sector remained at peace – that was until the Clone Wars began.

THE CLONE WARS

Few wars engulfed the entire galaxy the way that the Clone Wars had. Millions of worlds were drawn into the conflict, and billions of lives were lost. The Dominus-Dornean Sector, due to its position within the Outer Rim Territories was somewhat isolated in the initial stages of the war, but as the Separatists commenced their campaign of tyranny and control within the Outer Rim, it was not long before the war arrived on Dominus-Dornean’s doorstep.

Within days of the Separatist’s arrival, several key systems including Baros , Haenat , Karkaris and Te’Aatorus fell or swore allegiance to Dooku and his Confederacy of Independent Systems. Many systems in the sector soon followed suit, and took sides in the conflict. Within a year, the Clone Wars raged across the Sector. The only system to remain out of the conflict was Dornea .

The Dorneans hunkered down, defending their world at all costs, and made it clear to both Republic and Separatist forces that the world of Dornea itself was neutral ground. The Dorneans held that any attempt by either side to subjugate the system would be met with appropriate force, a threat that was heeded by both sides. However, it was not long before both sides saw the advantage provided by a neutral site within a war-zone. Within a short period of time Dornea became a den of spies and espionage, with the world often being used as a meeting point and safe zone for both Republic and Separatist intelligence operatives. This fact did not escape the gaze of the Dorneans , who allowed the activity to continue.

The primary sanctioning of these activities was for the Dorneans own intelligence gathering purposes, but it also to provided the Dorneans with the opportunity to make arrests and imprisonment of known spies, and consequently, made both sides of the conflict aware that their operatives were only guests of the Dorneans . Because of this fact alone, the Dorneans held a unique position in which to bargain for trade alliances.

The Sector’s main victim in the conflict was the world of Jisoara , a small mining colony contained within a small pocket of space inside the Dark Nebula. Over-mining by Separatist forces resulted in the destruction of the planet’s moon, and further devastation to the planet itself. The system was abandoned and due to the problems associated with getting through the nebula in order to reach the system, the starport and facilities gradually died a natural death. Rumours abound that the system is now being used by pirate gangs who launch specially modified starfighters, able to be used within the cloud, to conduct raids on unsuspecting ships perhaps lost, or using the nebula as a short cut.

THE FALL OF THE REPUBLIC AND RISE OF THE EMPIRE

When Supreme Chancellor Palpatine issued Order 66 in response to the Jedi supposedly making an attempt to take control of the Senate, the war with the Separatists was at its peak within the Dominus-Dornean Sector. Several Jedi fell in battle at the hands of the Clone Troops within the sector boundaries, and the remaining troops took control of key areas at the orders of Palpatine himself. Unfortunately, the war had taken its toll, and the troops were outnumbered. Without the assistance and support of the Jedi, the Clones were forced back to the systems of Dominus , Indibedi and Ruac . The Clones believed that all they need to do, was hold the line and help would arrive. Thankfully, for the Clone Troops at least, help arrived soon after.

As the Galactic Empire expanded its sphere of influence within the Outer Rim and into the Dominus-Dornean Sector, it quickly provided support to the dwindling number of Clone Troopers in the form of newly recruited stormtoopers, and staked its name to the sector with the assignment of Moff Vorpain, a high level bureaucrat and former associate of Palpatine, in order to manage the transition of the sector from under the control of the Republic to the newly installed Galactic Empire. Vorpain had little to no military background, but was well versed in politics.

As Vorpain’s first act, he offered an olive branch to the Dorneans to come under the protective banner of the Emperor’s New Order. The Dorneans knew as many systems within the galaxy did, that the neutrality they held during the Clone Wars may not have been enough to protect them from the onslaught that would be the Empire. After careful consideration, and leaning heavily of trade agreements signed with the Republic and its Intergalactic Courts, the Dorneans refused and declared their independence. Dornea soon after prepared for war.

Interestingly however, war did not come. Moff Vorpain knew from the intelligence gathered during the Clone Wars, that the Dorneans were not to be underestimated. Instead, he accepted the system’s independence with open arms, and publicly endorsed this act. Soon after however, Vorpain claimed that as an independent system, the Dornean’s would not have the legal capacity to maintain control over the sector. Within days of the Dornean’s decision, Vorpain proclaimed the Dominus system as sole capital of the Sector, and the sector renamed accordingly. The action angered the Dorneans, but it was clear a political and military stalemate had been reached.

The Empire soon after poured billions of credits into Dominus and built their sector offices in order to make it the shining capital that Sorpain hoped it would become. The military might however, was somewhat lacking, and it was not long before Admiral Kassen was assigned to the sector. Kassen was a hardened fleet commander, leading several campaigns during the Clone Wars. Kassen quickly took command of both the Imperial armed forces and naval vessels within the sector. Bases within the Dominus , Indibedi , and Ruac systems were soon bolstered, and the space station on Xelaonti was liberated from a corrupt Baron to act as a forward command post. For all intents and purposes, the Empire was sitting on Dornea’s doorstep, awaiting the right moment to strike.

The Dorneans , had little choice but to open their borders for trade, a move Vorpain was pleased to see. Over the following year Dornea traded as it always had, but its people were still uneasy with the tension displayed by the Empire’s presence in their once peaceful sector. As time wore on, the mere existence of the system’s independence within the Empire grated against Vorpain. It was not long before alleged dissidents and spies were caught both entering and exiting the Dornean system. During each of their trials, all of those arrested openly confessed to being affiliated with radicals within the Dornean Government. Consequently, Vorpain was able to proceed with levying sanctions and taxes on Dornea, a move which angered the Dornean Military leaders who condemned the Empire’s actions, and affected trade. Certain goods such as high-technology, rare minerals and metals, luxury goods, and weapons were either banned from being imported or heavily taxed. The Dorneans soon found that anything that they were not able to supply themselves came at a price. This in turn allowed smugglers a haven they had been hoping for, and something Vorpain did not predict.

Since the formation of the Empire, the Dorneans have continued to remain vigilant. The downside is, due to the sanctions, and their people’s mistreatment outside of the borders of the system at the hands of the Empire, that the once peaceful and hospitable Dorneans have developed a near xenophobic lifestyle. Despite this fact, along with the Empire’s countless sanctions, the system has remained the hub of economics and trade within the sector. Leverage gained through various historical trade agreements with external systems, coupled with their Dornean’s military might, has somehow kept the Empire at bay. Through this action, the Dorneans , have assured themselves that eventually the Emperor will decide that subjugating the system would be a much better use of resources than wasting further time and effort protecting the “rights” of the system’s citizens. In the meantime, the civilised systems within the Dominus Sector are holding their collective breaths, waiting for the inevitable to come.

Meanwhile, as the stalemate between the Empire and Dornea continues, Vorpain has shifted his focus to the rise of criminal activity within the sector. With an Imperial Academy now established within the sector, and the aging Republic Clones having been all but removed from service, Vorpain has been provided with the resources to build his forces of loyal recruits gathered from loyal citizens within the Dominus Sector, to deal with the criminal elements such as crime gangs and smugglers, and bring order to the sector. It is here, in this sector of space, where political upheaval, and lucrative trade is abound, and is a place where a small band of would-be heroes have begun etching their mark within the sector…

I still don't like the War of darkness at all, but maybe it's just a difference of opinion on how they are to be introduced. Making them a stand up fight in recorded history just brings too much information too easily. I like the haunted nebula concept that follows though...

Maybe going for more a Bermuda Triangle take might work a little better? Make the Charon less of a Vong knock off and more of a ghost story instead. Drop a subtle hint here and there. The Charon came to being sufficiently long enough ago that you can have stories of a ship or two going unexplainably missing every couple decades for the past 800ish years. A total vanishing here, a ship returning with it's crew dead of hallucinogenic nerve agents there (totally just a life support malfunction I'm sure), maybe even an Acclamator drifting out all Republic Commando style filled with bodies and plasma burns....Combined with actual explainable losses and just like Bermuda you're all set. You can even have plenty of fun by letting the players get comfy ducking into the nebula from time to time with no repercussion before you slap em with the killer spiders.

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I REALLY like the revised Imperial component. Vorpain now sounds like a good, flavorful antagonist. Totally in line with the Imperial goals, but taking a more politically correct passive-agressive approach. And the later actions he takes show him as a man that can think in the long-term strategic sense rather then being bogged down with tactics, something that even in the real world is surprisingly hard to do. If the players get involved in Alliance ops I could see Vorpain making regular, well written, well staged, speeches outlining changes he's making to policy that directly kick the players in the operational nuts.

Kassen also adds an interesting element. Sounds like a Patton-type military leader, good tactically and strategically, but equally arrogant and with difficulty grasping certain more civilian-oriented concepts like budgeting and politics... I wonder if he'll prove a good balance with Vorpain, or will be at odds with him as Vorpain calculates the political ramification of every boot, blaster, and ship name used in an operation.

OK, so the War of Darkness is all but gone, and replaced with the following. Its probably a bit wordy, but how's this:

THE COLLAPSE OF THE TRI-ALLIANCE

With the destruction of the Sith at the cost of countless Jedi at the Battle of Ruusan came a period of galaxy wide peace. Although power struggles between political powers was commonplace since then, in the background were the Jedi who acted as advisors, diplomats and peacekeepers in galactic affairs, all with a keen focus to maintain balance. The Jedi rarely acted openly, instead utilising their abilities to affect positive change where required. Little did the Jedi know that during this time, the Sith waited, watching and manipulating things from the shadows like a serpent waiting for the precise moment to strike.

Meanwhile, in the Dornean Sector, with the threat of imminent war eliminated, the three races of the Dorneans, the Mon Cal and the Quarren were free to continue their alliance of exploration within the Mon Cal, Dornean Sectors, and beyond. The alliance, which became known at the Tri-Alliance, was a model of peace to the rest of the galaxy. Members of the Jedi Council, including the Jedi Master Bo-Lar, a female Ilthorian, would often visit the sector and bring with them politicians of other sectors in order for them to see first hand the peace that could be had anywhere in the galaxy. Trade between the systems within the sectors was bountiful, however due to the sector's remoteness, it was still deemed to too remote to reap the riches so prevalent in the Core Worlds. The sector though, was flourishing.

Unfortunately, approximately 200 years ago, the Tri-Alliance discovered the world of Targonn on the edge of the Dornean Sector and Wild Space. There, representatives of the Alliance were introduced to the Targonnians, the world's native population. During negotiations, a military style guerrilla attack caused a political incident between the members of the Tri-Alliance, and the Targonnians which subsequently sparked several military retaliations. The attack was established many years later as being coordinated by Quarren dissidents who had become disgruntled with the treatment of their species by the Mon Cal. The Dorneans were pulled into the conflict, as were the Targonnians, and a for 50 years, the one peaceful sector was tainted by war. The Dornean people later referred to this time, as The War of Darkness, whilst the Mon Cal soon learned it to be the start of the Quarren Civil War, a conflict which would later spill over into the Clone Wars.

The Dorneans called the conflict the War of Darkness not because of some reference to the destruction of the Tri-Alliance, but because it was also around this time, that ships started disappearing within the area of space known as The Dark Nebula. Since the start of the conflicts, ships from the colonies of Leinin and Isleis would disappear, only to be found later, adrift in space with no crew, and nothing but a noxious gas left aboard, or with the ship's crew and its compliment of passengers dismembered and signs of some type of blaster battle throughout. Many blamed attacks from the hostile forces on the Targonnians, or the Quarren, while others suggested something more sinister.

Investigators were baffled with what they found, with some suggesting an alien race living within the nebula, and others theorising the existence of some type of dark side energy being. This last thought generated interest with the Jedi Council, but all investigations uncovered no such evidence.

Eventually, some explanation presented itself. Towards the end of the conflict, an incident occurred where an unidentified ship entered orbit above the planet of Isleis. The ship, later known to be one of the first ships to disappear without a trace - called the Palatinate, thrust itself into the planet's atmosphere and soon after crashed onto the surface. Sifting through the wreckage, the onsite investigators found no survivors, but were able to recover partial footage from a data-package of the captain's personal holovid. The Captain, a Twi-lek named Kes Vilon, appeared deranged, and exhibited signs of self mutilation and psychosis. In one of the last segments of footage, the shape of a creature with the body a spider, and the torso of a humanoid appears behind the captain, followed by a scream and then static. The footage was unclear, and conspiracy theorists to this day make outlandish suggestions. Many claim the footage to be a hoax, and no government representative has ever come forward confirming or denying the existence of any type of "alien" being the cause of the various ship's fates. Conspiracy buffs have affectionately given the supposed aliens the name "Species Xesh-1121".

Many individuals and corporations have attempted to learn more, with countless exploratory vessels entering the nebula over the years, in the hope of returning with some shred of evidence. Most expeditions returned with nothing but the gas produced within the nebula, whilst other vessels have failed to return, including a group of experimental Republic Ships consisting of approximately 200 Dreadnaught-class heavy cruisers called the Katana Fleet.

Meanwhile, as scientists and theorists pondered these events, the now battle hardened Dorneans established further military outposts throughout the sector to maintain what peace they had left, and to monitor the situation in the Dark Nebula. The Dorneans closed their borders, applied trade restrictions, and made an attempt to isolate the sector from the rest of the galaxy. However, the Dorneans soon learned the cost of fighting a protracted war including the fact that closing down the sector was not only logistically taxing, but something that the Dorneans could no longer afford. The native Dorneans had suffered heavy losses during the conflict, and the Dornean Military Regime knew their position of power in the sector had wavered. With cap in hand, the Dorneans were forced to form an alliance with the now primarily human colony of Dominus. This gave rise to the sector changing its name to the Dominus-Dornean Sector, so named after its now joint twin-system capitals.

Over the next 150 years, the Dominus-Dornean Sector reclaimed its peace, until the Clone Wars began.

Much better!

Only suggestions:

1)The Captain, a Twi-lek named Kes Vilon, appeared deranged, and exhibited signs of self mutilation and psychosis. In one of the last segments of footage, a shadowy form appears behind the captain, followed by a scream and then static. The footage was unclear, and conspiracy theorists to this day make outlandish suggestions.

Let the form vary from cantina tale to cantina tale. Spider people here, Hutts but with legs there, Moving turds with arms over there. Don't show the shark until it's biting off their legs.

2) The Legends thing kinda tosses it out the window, but Katana fleet is a bit of thing that may cause issue if your players know the Thrawn trilogy.If they don't know it, or you don't care, it won't cause any problems other then just being a fook ton of capital ships to lose in a nebula chasing ghosts.... though maybe that was just another thing old Paly cited as a reason the Republic couldn't continue....

OK, here's just that last few paragraphs of the COLLAPSE OF THE TRI-ALLIANCE:

Eventually, some explanation presented itself. Towards the end of the conflict, an incident occurred where an unidentified ship entered orbit above the planet of Isleis. The ship, later known to be one of the first ships to disappear without a trace - called the Palatinate, thrust itself into the planet's atmosphere and soon after crashed onto the surface. Sifting through the wreckage, the onsite investigators found no survivors, but were able to recover partial footage from a data-package of the captain's personal holovid.

The footage showed the Captain, a Twi-lek named Kes Vilon, appeared deranged, and exhibited signs of self mutilation and psychosis. In one of the last segments of footage, a shadowy form appears behind the captain, followed by a scream and then static. The footage was unclear, and conspiracy theorists to this day make outlandish suggestions. Many claim the footage to be a hoax, however no government representative has ever come forward confirming or denying further knowledge of those events. Conspiracy buffs have affectionately claimed the shadow was that of an alien species, and have given the supposed aliens the name "Species Xesh-1121".

Many individuals and corporations have since attempted to learn more, with countless exploratory vessels entering the nebula over the years, in the hope of returning with some shred of evidence. Most expeditions returned with nothing but the gas produced within the nebula, whilst many others continued to disappear. At one point, the Dorneas called for the assistance of the Republic, and in response, several experimental Dreadnaught-class heavy cruisers (prototypes for a new fleet of ships the Republic were developing) were sent. All of the Dreadnaughts entered the nebula, but none returned with all 7,000 naval personal lost. A delegation from the Republic were sent to investigate, but each came to the conclusion that the disappearance was nothing more than a malfunction of the experimental slave rigged systems failing, and the ship lost to the depths of a hyperspace accident or anomaly. The Republic further claimed that with the increase in hostility in the region, they could ill-afford to send further vessels to assist. The Dorneas were at a loss themselves, and instead, thousands of navigational warning buoys were deployed along the boundary of the nebula. Pirates, Slavers, and Smugglers soon learned that the region was mostly free of military patrols, and the Sector Rangers also gave the anomaly a wide birth. The region became a shortcut and hideout for wanted criminals, however the use of the nebula was not without risk. Even to this day, ships that attempt to navigate the nebula disappear, never to be seen again whilst others return as ghost ships.

As a side note, I treat offical canon as the canon of my campaign, which means ANYTHING outside of that can be bent and twisted to my desires

Any further thoughts?