Hiyas,

I was thinking of running a quick, non-serious Christmas game where they play Ork Freebooterz.

I need some not so serious straightfoward orky plots.

Any thoughts?

I'll give it a shot, just some loose ideas:

A mek has taken apart an old shock attack gun and from the parts, built a device that opens a stable- well ramshackle- pathway trough the warp. Now he has bolted it to a buggy /trukk/ battlewagon... and the freebooterz get to testdrive it!

The freebooterz meet a deranged painboy who likes to swap squig and ork brains, he wants them to herd together some squigs for testing and "volunteer" for his new experiments.

The freebooterz have come across the fabled map leading to "Da 'un toof" the fabled burried loot of kaptin Scumdreg! Boarding their vessel, they set off to claim it, but word got out and they are not the only ones after the treasure, human treasure seekers, other ork warbands, etc...

The freebooterz encounter a group of ork kommandos, painted purple, who claim they belong to "Da Alva Leziun" and are invisble!

The freebooters are traveling to meet up with the growing Waaaag Gitsnik, fighting against the spacewolves on a world covered in snow and pine forrests. When they get cut of from the main advance they spot a giant of a man, with a big beard, riding in a hovering sleigh, pulled by giant wolves... Santa? No it's Logan Grimnar!

The utterly insane big mek Madgrotz Dakkamma has built the ultimate weapon: GOG: Gork's Own Gun: a weapon so powerfull it can destroy even a chaos god. Magrotz has mounted the gigantic weapon on a killkroozer and has hired the freebooterz to fly the ship straight into the nearest warpstorm, intending to pick a fight with the gods themselves. What could possibly go wrong?

Hows D's Orks Stole da feast of da Emperor's Ascension (cos day is boss)


The PCs belong to the warband of legendary Freebooter Orkatio Helsun. He has heard that the humans are having a huge celebration to commemorate the feast of the Emperor's Ascension. To celebrate this the local Cardinal Nichodemus has gathered up a huge sack of luxury foods which he plans to donate the children of the Middle and Lower Hive who are currently going through a bit of a hard time of it what with the famine and Inquisitorial purges. The massive sack of food (and it is massive) is hidden under the traditional giant Hive Pine tree which is decorated with ornaments
Of course this being the Imperium the ornaments are weaponised skull servitors (Ho Ho Ho).

Part One: The orks need to steal the giant sack of food. Luckily the mek has given them control of a massive flying lifta dropper to move it unluckily the mek boy is quite mad and has given the exact instructions of how it works to a group of 8 grots the PCs will need to win over. Finally the PCs will need to seek out a snotling Rudgrotz which has a small crimson sniffer squig attached to his face (sort of in the nose area) who can steer them past the Imperial defences.

Part Two. The PCs discover that in fact that food represented the food rations for the next three months. If da humie runts don't get da food they'll starve and the next generation of humans to fight and loot will be lost. If the PCs don't understand this perfectly sensible ork logic don't worry Orkatio Hellsun can beat it into them. They can't return the food as the humans will think it poisoned and if they don't return it soon da humies will start rioting which would be funny but wouldn't fit well with crow-barring in a Christmas Theme into WH40k, therefore the Orks must use their flying lifta dropper to deliver the food to every middle hiver in a single night.

You are a mean one mr. Ghazghkull...

We played through two scenarios.

Shokk attack gun. Demanding lots of red bits. It ended up where they took a hulk of a rhino up a mountain and using it as a sled. It ended with a human commissar being turned intoa squig, having a rhino land on him?

Next scenario

The Orks stole Christmas to save it. Mayhem ensured. Murderous Squigs with dynamite in presents. Ecclesiarchs in gift wrapping being fired from a Very BIG Gun. 'nuff said.