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Click Here to Download (10/22/2014)

First draft of turning Mind-Cleansed into an Elite Advance, prompted by a comment in the homeworld thread.

Feel free to make suggestions and/or additions!

I do like this adaptation, but I can't help but think something feels... off. [Mind Cleansed] isn't meant to be a mechanically optimal Elite Advance and that's fine, but I also don't think people would be motivated to buy it for 500xp. It is absolutely a nice touch that you threw in the Aptitude-trading thing in there, but then the Home World-trading seems out of place. I would think that the Mind Cleansed would purge their Home World Bonus completely, but then that further makes Mind Cleansed a hard sell. There's a lot of back and forth for me concerning this Mind Cleansed. I'm going to chew on it a bit and see if I can pinpoint what isn't sitting well with me.

Your Mind Cleansed's [Forged Identity] mentions "Deceive (Cha)". I imagine "Fel" for "Fellowship" was the intended message? I do prefer "Charisma" as a stat name though. Hard consonant, empowering, somewhat aggressive, nice ring to it. "Fellowship" sounds very passive (and therefore uninteresting) to me. but that's another topic altogether.

First and foremost, thanks for the feedback!

Now keep in mind I only consider this a rough draft, so I appreciate your comments. I thought about it during work last night, and I think I know what is jarring - the idea that the talents can 'grow', despite mind-cleansing being a triggered one-time event. Now I thought about it, and I think I have a solution. Instead of charging a surcharge (500xp, which is admittidly high), offer the advance as a Free charge (0 XP) as part of a narrative reward, and instead writing in that any talents purchased under the Elite Advance must be taken at the time of taking the Elite Advance itself - representing the length and effort put into the Mind Cleansing itself.

The second point - I am showing my roots with my fall back to Cha - a total d n d thing. Good catch - I need to fix that with the next update. =D

You know, I think you're right. Having Mind Cleansed evolve over time is what's off to me. I do like all of the Talents you threw together, [Engram Implantation] being my favorite, since they really capture what I think belongs in a Mind Cleansed. It would probably be a bit much to give all the Talents for free though. There's the option of players choosing which Talents they want and then go into experience debt if they can't pay for it, but maybe there's a more elegant solution.

I made Mind Cleansed as a Homeworld Origin:

Mind Cleansed Rules

Characteristics Modifiers: - Fellowship, + Willpower

Fate Threshold : 2 (Emperor’s Blessing 9+)

Home World Bonus: Mind Cleansed: gain Jaded and Weapon Training (Las) Talent.

Failsafe Control: Implanted Trigger Word known at the GM's discretion.

Imperial Conditioning: +10 to WP tests to resist Fear or Mind Control.

Shards of Memory: Flashbacks to pre-Mind Cleansing at GM's discretion. Can loose action at Trigger Situations

Home World Aptitude: Willpower

Wounds : 8+1d5

Recommended Backgrounds: Adeptus Mechanicus, Adeptus Ministorum, Adeptus Arbites, Imperial Guard

My whole schtick with making [Mind Cleansed] an [Elite Advance] was that Mind Cleansed would not translate very well as a [Home World]. As you have demonstrated, trying to include all of Mind Cleansed's juicy narrative fluff makes for a clunky bonus. Even then, the bonus refers to things that would have to be explained on a separate page anyway. Using an Elite Advance instead solves that issue since they naturally tend to span over several pages.

My whole schtick with making [Mind Cleansed] an [Elite Advance] was that Mind Cleansed would not translate very well as a [Home World]. As you have demonstrated, trying to include all of Mind Cleansed's juicy narrative fluff makes for a clunky bonus. Even then, the bonus refers to things that would have to be explained on a separate page anyway. Using an Elite Advance instead solves that issue since they naturally tend to span over several pages.

Thats a point. But (only my opinion) instead paying xp for it I would my player "roleplay it".

As was touched on above, there is talk of making Mind Cleansed "free" with GM guidance while still providing engaging mechanics. The current iteration is a rough draft after all. I have faith that a more finalized product will be more than fit for consumption.

Thanks guys.

The idea of the Mind Cleansing being free is a narrative tool for Player/GMs. However, my pitch is that when the Elite Advance is earned/taken, the total sum of experience spent is the experience spent on the corresponding talents from the tree - with a limitation placed that any advances must be taken at once - not gradually. Thus, the cost of the advance is a one time affair and it determines the nature of the Mind Cleansing process itself.

Updated the file here

Trying to brain storm about 4 more talents to add to this document. ^^.

Trying to brain storm about 4 more talents to add to this document. ^^.

By the way. Very nice document you've done here!

Thanks Lautrer. ^^. I try!

Good job on this. As an idea for another talent maybe one what swaps out another aptitude to represent more specialised conditioning.

In Engram Implementation it should be "raise" instead of "rise".