I'm going to let you all in on something very personal and important to me.
Confidence & more specifically, my self-confidence.
To be straight & to the point, I've been on a losing streak & it's definitely gotten to me big time. That's something that has never happened to me before. At least not to this extent.
As of late, I second guess myself, stress out on making builds, overthink everything, & try to play it so safe that it actually causes me to lose.
When I say lose I don't mean 0/3 everytime. I mean I constantly go 2/1 or 1/2.
In the past 3 months I've had more modified wins & losses than I've had in my entire 10 months of playing Xwing.
The game has changed so much lately. I love it, but at the same time it's completely unnerving. There are so many new options available to us now, & there is no "Perfect Build".
Some are better than others, but they all have a chance to win.
Wave 5 will soon be legal with wave 6 soon to come, they will change things even more.
I always thought winning meant destroying all of your opponents ships, but now depending on your build & having timed matches, that's just not possible.
In today's Xwing you have to be smart & flexible.
No matter how skilled you are, Soontir Fel all decked out, will always be at a disadvantage against a Han all decked out. I'm just now truely realizing that, & not only do I realize it, I finally accept it.
What that means now is that I can't always kill Han but I can kill his Z95 escorts or whoever his wingman happens to be. Yes if I focus fire everything into him, it may work, but if I destroy even one or two of his other ships without suffering a loss of one of my own, I win.
It's like stepping outside & getting attacked by a balloon & a bear.
You can easily pop the balloon lol! But the bear, I don't think so.
Xwing has evolved & we as players have to evolve to keep up, & evolve to consistently continue winning.
Another thing is, PRACTICE makes PERFECT! I cannot stress this enough. A perfect example are two friends of mine. He & his girlfriend love Xwing & even have a room in their house set up to play Xwing anytime they feel like it.
He has won every tournament he's played in, over the past month at least. I would know because I was there for most of them lol! It's insane but it's true.
His girlfriend is just as good as he is too. I like to think of her as a female clone of him lol. Unlike football, sex means nothing in Xwing. In football a average guy will always have a advantage over a average girl, in Xwing they are equal.
In my entire 10 months of playing Xwing, I have lost against him & his girlfriend, more times in a row than I've ever lost to ANYONE.......EVER.
The first few losses were ok, & I've beaten those two several times, but as of late, my losses have been so constant that it got into my head & completely ruined my gaming.
I always preach that confidence & being positive are huge factors in being successful, but I even loss sight of that.
I adapted but so did they. I'm happy to have found such powerful opponents.
Also I have to give them credit for being the first person/people to ever completely break me.
They crushed my mind, body, spirit, soul, confidence, competitive personality, EVERYTHING. Lol! I've never had that done to me ever, in any aspect of my life.
Another friend of mine keeps reminding me it's just a game & if you aren't having fun, then why are you playing?
I considered quitting & buying a Xbox one or Ps4 & getting back to my gamer roots, but I love playing Xwing win or lose. Plus I do have fun.
Running a epic game with 21 ships would be super fun. 12 bombers = 192
9 ties = 108 for a total of 300 even.
Would it win? Maybe not, but I'd have a blast playing it lol!
I think of Xwing like football. Most people play at the park or in the backyard for fun, then there's the NFL. I play for fun & I play for practice, but when I play in tournaments, that's my NFL.
In closing, I'd like to share this.
One of the funniest things happened at a recent tournament I attended. Last minute I decided to fly rebels instead of a imperial build I had already made, because I didn't feel safe & confident in my build. Everyone was shocked when I showed up & said who I was running, because I almost always fly empire.
At the end of the tournament & going 1/2, I looked back & saw that I would've had better match ups had I been confident & flown empire like I had intended & instead of second guessing myself.
The winners, got new wave 5 ships & as a participation prize we all got random little mini star wars related items & toys. Mine was a boxed random figure & when I opened it, it was none other than Emperor Palpatine himself LMAO! It's like he was meant for me.
"Brandon I am disappointed in you my son. You had such promise & potential but you failed. Worse still, you betrayed me." - Palpatine
At this point not only an I completely crushed & feeling horrible, but I just know he's about to force choke/force lightning me or a combination of the two.
But instead he pulls me in close, hugs me, & says "I forgive you".
I say all of that to say this. I have my confidence back.
I am a pro empire player & I do occasionally run rebels.
I WILL evolve & dominate this new world of Xwing.
I WILL bring my Palpatine figure to every Xwing game I ever play from here on out, & he will serve as a reminder to never again lose my confidence, second guess myself, & to never forget what I went through & where I'm going.
Here's one if my all time favorite quotes.
"I'll show you that a superior mobile suit has its limits when it goes up against a superior pilot!" - Char Aznable
So whether I'm piloting a zaku or plain old tie fighter, never underestimate me.
Stay thirsty my friends
~ Brandon C. Brown