TheFlatline said:

Bah. My group averages about 30 in age, and it does make life harder. Hence I arrange sessions 2 months in advance... but roleplaying is still going strong in my life. I'm in 3 campaigns, two of which are over a year old, and as I type I'm on holiday with a bunch of roleplayers, and roleplaying every day, and I plan to do so again in October.

It doesn't have to go downhill )

TheFlatline said:

Not necessarily. Just make sure your friends are the kind of guys and gals who are really against the notion of starting a family and basically see people of the opposite sex as either relationship, no-kids material or just as one-night-stands and your problem will be solved.

Thank hell for friends who knows how to stay away from the family/marriage trap!

You've all got a point.

@TheFlatline

That's harsh but it does have some truth to it. People fall in love and then everything else drops off the radar because they can't get enough of each other. I know that it's life, but these same people need to realize it cuts both ways. I've had my friends who do this get pissed at me that they're not being included. If often went like this.

Player: Why aren't you including me anymore?

Me: Because you spend every spare minute with your girlfriend and blow off what few plans we do make to spend MORE time with her. Do what you want, but don't expect me to wait around for you to find a balance.

Either they balance their time or they stop annoying me for not including them so it works out either way.

@Cardinalsin

I envy you. I wish my players and I could do that.

@VarniasTybalt

That made me laugh, but maybe just because I'm cynical. But it makes sense to me. I mean do people get married and have kids and expect to be able to put them away whenever they choose? It's their choice, but it's "equivalent exchange." For anything to be gained, something must be sacrificed. If you're willing to sacrifice RPGs or other things to spend more time with your spouse and whatever kids may have, it's your choice to do so. Just don't complain to me that you have no time anymore and that I'm shunning you. Your family life is not my business and it's not my problem. By volunteering and then flaking constantly, you're making it my problem.

Vulkan He''stan said:

Yes, well I wouldnt call you cynical, just realistic (i've often been confused for being cynical when im just being realistic myself ). Still, keep in mind that it is your friends your playing with (unless your playing with total strangers of course), and sometimes you need to cut them some slack (if they are real friends they will cut you some slack when you really need it too). HOWEVER I am in now way defending their behavior.

Sure you might be involved romantically wioth someone, sure you might have a pressing job and sure you might have a family that takes up a lot of your time, but that is no excuse for excessive flaking. If your GM is taking the precautions to plan ahead weeks in advance you should be able to tell at that moment whether you have som important anniversary day with your wife or you're going away for vacation etc. at that particular day so that your GM and the other players can re-schedule or at least plan in advance that they might have to be without you for that particular session.

Only dire cuircumstances, like irregular meetings at work stretching for hours because your boss demands it or eventual accidents could excuse eventual flaking. Saying weeks in advance that you will attend and then not show because of such a silly reason that you miss your girlfriend or whatever is inexcuseable. Learn which date next session will be from your gamemaster, check your calendar as thoroughly as possible for any potential preventions from you showing up and most importantly TELL YOUR FRIGGING SPOUSE IN ADVANCE that you're planning to play that date so he or she doesn't spring on you with a "surprise dinner" or anniversary celebrations or whatever. If you follow these steps then flaking shouldn't be an issue at all. But to me your players are clearly not taking these steps...

@Varnias Tybalt

I agree. I wasn't arguing with you though now that I reread it I can see how it might of come off that way. Though it is off topic a bit, I have seen how people went into the marriage/2.3 kids thing and have it suck for them because they expected endless Rockwell moments instead of all the work and sacrifice it takes to make it successful.