X-Wing Wives

By Mikael Hasselstein, in X-Wing

My wife really likes the game and supports my obsession of it.

While she doesn't necessarily share my never ending need to stalk the forums and build squadrons, she doesn't ever give me a hard time about it.

She has come with me to tournaments in the past, and would probably be more active in the scene, but our 15-month old son would be running around the stores knocking all the games off of the lowest shelf and climbing up tables if she didn't watch him. Because of this, both her and I are far less of a presence than we would like to be.

One day when he's older I can actually make it to a regionals or nationals. But I can wait. I love that little dude, and despite the fact that if I had my way I'd be playing x-wing all day every day, I can wait.

I don't have a wife, but I have a 50" TV,XBox One, Doulby 5.1 surround system and black out curtains.

Who's the real winner here?

I have a fiancée (why waste 10 000-20 000$ for a wedding when you can buy all kind of games with it instead?) that play games, a 60'' TV, PS3-PS4-WiiU, Dolby Suround 7.1 in my pitch black basement....

What did I won?

The Internet.

Alright!.....

....

..

Where can I claim my price?

This thread just reinforced how lonely I am...

On a serious note, I've always tried to treat women with the respect that they deserve yet they still avoid me like the plague (sexism isn't cool ya'll). I have never understood why women choose the wrong man for them (I see it all the time, I do social work for a living). Who cares if a guy pushes ships around a mat, it isn't like he is smoking crack or something else detrimental. I guess some of my frustrations come from trying to do right and it never working out.

Careful man, treading dangerously close to, "I'm a nice guy" territory.

Did my username suggest otherwise? :D

Being a bachelor I can't comment on wives, but my mum kicked my arse the other day in a 60 pt squad. She had Luke and Dutch with a few upgrades (R2D2 on Luke, that might have been it - I picked the squads as sh's only played a couple of times and I didn't think she's be into squad building yet), I had Vader (with Engine Upgrade and Daredevil) and two Academy Pilots if I recall correctly. She finished off Vader with must of Dutch's hull left.

I got my wife to play once, but she has not played again. Now she was not a gamer when we got together and actually had it on her "list" that she would never date a gamer as she considered them losers. (Bad experience with losers that were gamers). We have now been together 8 years ( 2 years dating, 6 years married) I have got her to play MMO's with me tons of board games, and she is buying a new gaming computer for herself now.

She loves games like; LOTR LCG, Star Wars LCG, settlers of catan, munchkin, etc... my obsessive reading of forums and strategizing has alienated her from playing x-wing though. She says I am way too into it for her to even try to compete. It seems I shot myself in the foot on this one.

I can just see the personal ads now.

Wanted, female life partner to share obsession of X-Wing miniatures

Please send photo of miniatures collection

On the topic of the gender imbalance in tabletop games vs video games, I think the most obvious reason is the need to meet face to face. I imagine that for a woman trying to break into a stereotypically male-dominated activity, it would be much more intimidating to go to the LGS where she doesn't necessarily know anyone, than it is to play video games either solo or online. When you're playing online, no one knows anything about you unless you want them to. A woman can simply enjoy the game without any worry over being judged or harangued by idiots.

Now, obviously, most people at an LGS are perfectly friendly, welcoming people. But there is this stereotyped image of the crude, socially inept, awkward misogynist that will only be dispelled once a woman has taken that first step and actually gone and met all these people, and I think many are reluctant. They see a shop almost exclusively full of guys, maybe smelling a bit of male sweat (in my experience :P) and they get put off. And thus the cycle continues.

I think it's a bit sexist to say that things like the 'complexity' are putting them off. Why would it? Women are just as inherently capable of understanding game rules as men; it just depends on the individual. And while x-wing is more complicated than, say, Catan, it's hardly rocket science (if you pardon the pun). I think the main reason women are put off is the image which surrounds this type of game, perpetuated by a small but vocal minority, and the social stigmas attached to it. Fortunately, I think that is slowly changing as gaming in general becomes a more more mainstream activity.

This thread has just prompted another question in my sick and twisted mind.

Do you think that female gamers REALLY like playing for both factions or do they just do it to make themselves appear more interesting to male gamers

;)

Now on the topic of playing at your local LGS. I can see how it could turn off women. It has turned me off, I don't play at any local LGS. There is two I have visited and the people there may be friendly but they are weird, INCREDIBLY opinionated, and somewhat anal in their gaming. Talking to them is fine playing with any of them is out of the question for me. I play to have fun, I am not a competitive person. Half the time I am playing any game I use weird bad strategies just to see the outcome as I find that fun. When I am around people that take winning too seriously I usually bail, it is no fun to me.

Instead I have discovered a group of diverse people that I can play the game with. Many of them are not friends with each other and don't know each other. It can be hard to find a group of gamers you fit in with, much less your wife as well.

My wife loves this game and though she doesn't go in depth planning new squads, she remains competitive. For a long time, she was undefeated and won a small tournament (her first). She hates when I play Battlefield or watch MST3000 on Netflix but she really loves playing X-wing with me.

My wife has zero interest in playing this game. She loves Cataan, Lords of Waterdeep, Ticket to Ride, and a bunch of other Euro style games. She just doesn't like Star Wars. She knows enough of it to be able to make a few comments about it, she knew that when she saw my "Red Five" t-shirt that it was one of the pilots from ANH (and of course asked which of the Starfleet ships it was, just to annoy me), and she knows enough to make fun of BSG, Doctor Who and Star Wars.

She knows I like playing, so she never begrudges me for heading off to the FLGS for a few matches.

Euros...

Lords of Waterdeep is fun. I almost got into a fist fight with my brother in law over Tamany Hall.

I've been with my girlfriend for about a year now. She was aware that I went to play boardgames with my mates once a week - I think she assumed I was playing scrabble or something similar. I came out after my assault on imdvaar victory. To my complete surprise she thought it was cool! She has even gone as far as to pre-order a YT-2400 for me!

That said, she's happy for it to be my thing.

I like Home Theater, and so does my wife, so I found these posts fun.

I don't have a wife, but I have a 50" TV,XBox One, Doulby 5.1 surround system and black out curtains.

Who's the real winner here?

Why not both??? ;)

Nice setup by the way.

My wife's not a gamer, although she's played Carcassonne and Zombies!!!, and enjoyed them. Just waiting for my daughter and son to get a little older before introducing them.

Until then, we've got the 65" TV, 5.1 Surround, PS3, and Star Wars on Blu-Ray to tide them over.

You've crushed me.

Oh, I get it, its like X-wing Escalation list building! That's the 90 point squad limit, the extra 30 points got the TV up to 65"...

I don't have a wife, but I have a 50" TV,XBox One, Doulby 5.1 surround system and black out curtains.

Who's the real winner here?

I have a fiancée (why waste 10 000-20 000$ for a wedding when you can buy all kind of games with it instead?) that play games, a 60'' TV, PS3-PS4-WiiU, Dolby Suround 7.1 in my pitch black basement....

What did I won?

OK, +30 more points @120 now to get to 7.1! For the sake of forward progression I'll just assume that the 60" TV is a Pioneer Kuro so it's actually better than the previous 65". ;)

OK, my turn! I'll add another "30 points" to upgrade the audio system and get us to 150 points, he he he. The TV is back to 65", but it's the flagship Panasonic from 2 years ago, so it's almost as good as a Kuro. :D Audio upgrades include 2x Paradigm Sub 15's, Paradigm Studio v.4 for the 7 speakers (100, CC-590, 60, 20, to be specific), and 6 wall mounted GIK 2' x 4' x 6" bass traps. And (obviously) sub EQ to smooth out some of the room resonances, which in this case aren't bad because the room is thankfully not rectangular. The room is (mostly) sealed, so in-room frequency response is pretty good, down below 15Hz. I'm kind of an audio snob because I go to the IMAX in Providence and the sound stinks compared to what I have at home. I would ask if I won a cookie, but I think I would rather just go watch a movie instead. :D

maxell.jpg

Now watch, someone is going to come post with their "Epic" setup and one-up me too! Anyone got a 10' projection screen and a 20 speaker Dolby Atmos setup, with 4+ 18" subs in a sealed room? (If you do, PM me your address, because I want to come visit ;) )

// off-topic.

My wife doesn't really play X-wing, but we love playing other games together, and obviously, watching movies. :)

Edit: Oh and we are both professional nerds, just in very different fields. She actually prefers Star Trek over Star Wars, am I allowed to post that in this forum? ;)

Edited by MajorJuggler

I don't have a wife, but I have a 50" TV,XBox One, Doulby 5.1 surround system and black out curtains.

Who's the real winner here?

I've got all that, plus a wife who does esports for a living.

Me. I'm the real winner here. ;)

Also: I don't get the comment (on page 1) about nerd women being rare. In my experience, they're roughly as rare as nerd dudes. Can't hardly have a game night without a bunch of nerd ladies kicking your ass at a game you thought you were good at.

My wife plays X-Wing, but it is not her favorite. She loves Catan and Game of Thrones cards, and will also play Firefly, Pandemic, and a few other games. I have tried to get her more into X-Wing, but she doesn't really like it as much as many other games, and when she does play, she only flies Y-Wings and X-Wings. That said, she plays, and will also get in on many other nerd games with me, so I would say it is a pretty good situation.

Additionally, my almost 4-year old daughter loves to "play" X-Wing with me (she rolls the dice). Yesterday she told me, "Daddy, Luke Skywalker flies an X-Wing, but Darth Vader flies a TIE fighter!" I have never been so proud! Now if only she would learn to call it a TIE Advanced x1 I would be really happy...

Edited by Jedhead

I don't have a wife, but I have a 50" TV,XBox One, Doulby 5.1 surround system and black out curtains.

Who's the real winner here?

I've got all that, plus a wife who does esports for a living.

Me. I'm the real winner here. ;)

Also: I don't get the comment (on page 1) about nerd women being rare. In my experience, they're roughly as rare as nerd dudes. Can't hardly have a game night without a bunch of nerd ladies kicking your ass at a game you thought you were good at.

If these so called "nerd women" aren't so rare then where are you from?! :D Down here in the south it seems they are few and far between.

I don't have a wife, but I have a 50" TV,XBox One, Doulby 5.1 surround system and black out curtains.

Who's the real winner here?

I've got all that, plus a wife who does esports for a living.

Me. I'm the real winner here. ;)

Also: I don't get the comment (on page 1) about nerd women being rare. In my experience, they're roughly as rare as nerd dudes. Can't hardly have a game night without a bunch of nerd ladies kicking your ass at a game you thought you were good at.

Who's your wife? Anyone I would know?

(I used to be a huge fan of pro Starcraft 2, up until about a year ago when the game got really stale thanks to Blizzard's incompetence)

This thread is interesting to me since I suppose I'm one of these "X-Wing Wives". X-Wing is the first miniatures game I've gotten into and the first game I've played competitively. (I've always been a major board/video game geek.)

First off - my husband and I got into the game at the same time. We didn't have the whole "he's been playing for months" imbalance. (To this day we are super even in terms of skill.) That definitely helped.

But... I have to admit, I don't think I would have started going to tournaments on my own. - I have a strong competitive streak, but that often means I don't want to put myself in a situation where I might get my ass handed to me. But I've done above average in the local scene (even won two!) and generally enjoyed myself. If nothing else playing tournaments means I get to run against a bunch of different well-flown lists that aren't my husband's.

In terms of getting more of "us ladies" playing - I don't fully understand why minis are so male dominated. I have tons of geeky gamer friends, male and female - but none of my other female friends play minis games. I've only seen 2 other women at tournaments, and only played against 1. The local community has been super friendly and certainly not sexist, but I could imagine it's daunting to show up to a 16 or 30 person tournament and be the only woman.

A thought about the gender difference: the idea of playing something like this competitively wouldn't have occurred to me on my own. This is reaching, but women aren't generally encouraged to be competitive - maybe that's at work here.

I'm all for everyone getting their daughters (& sons) into X-Wing!

It is very nice to read so many wives/girlfriends are Star Wars fans.

My wife is not a Star Wars fan, but we played together a lot of MagicThe gathering after convincing her that it's more fun than Catan and can be played 1v1. And then I convinced her to play X-Wing by saying is basically a deck building game which has a 3D element to it and which has more fun and engaging combat (I know it is a very rude abstraction but it worked :D) and now we play together and we love it. One more thing that contributed was that I also am a beginner and we learn the game together and I think to her this seems more fun.

As for why there are so few women playing miniatures or games in general, I think it's just tradition and the inertia of things, boys started to play games more and more complex and then switched to video games and were encouraged to to that while girls were more encouraged towards other things and now that this is no longer the case in the modern society it's just that tradition still plays a role .... but I think things will change very fast.

I would really love to see more women play and even win at high level tournaments.

My wife's not a gamer, although she's played Carcassonne and Zombies!!!, and enjoyed them. Just waiting for my daughter and son to get a little older before introducing them.

Until then, we've got the 65" TV, 5.1 Surround, PS3, and Star Wars on Blu-Ray to tide them over.

You've crushed me.

Can I jump on the brag-wagon?

My wife is a gamer, but prefers Euro-games (Bang!, Ticket to Ride, Catan).

We also have a 60" LED 3D TV, surround sound, PS4, PS3, and blackout curtains.

Plus, she wants to go to GenCon next year with me.

I like Home Theater, and so does my wife, so I found these posts fun.

OK, +30 more points @120 now to get to 7.1! For the sake of forward progression I'll just assume that the 60" TV is a Pioneer Kuro so it's actually better than the previous 65". ;)

OK, my turn! I'll add another "30 points" to upgrade the audio system and get us to 150 points, he he he. The TV is back to 65", but it's the flagship Panasonic from 2 years ago, so it's almost as good as a Kuro. :D

Actually, my 65" is the Panasonic flagship from three years ago (TC-P65VT30).

A thought about the gender difference: the idea of playing something like this competitively wouldn't have occurred to me on my own. This is reaching, but women aren't generally encouraged to be competitive - maybe that's at work here.

That's not reaching, that's on the nose. Being competitive is not seen as a feminine ideal, and competitive females in fiction/pop culture tend to be unique/special or quirky.

I like Home Theater, and so does my wife, so I found these posts fun.

OK, +30 more points @120 now to get to 7.1! For the sake of forward progression I'll just assume that the 60" TV is a Pioneer Kuro so it's actually better than the previous 65". ;)

OK, my turn! I'll add another "30 points" to upgrade the audio system and get us to 150 points, he he he. The TV is back to 65", but it's the flagship Panasonic from 2 years ago, so it's almost as good as a Kuro. :D

Actually, my 65" is the Panasonic flagship from three years ago (TC-P65VT30).

Dang, has it been 3 years already? I have the same exact model, I got it on sale a couple years ago from amazon with free shipping. Off-topic, but it's worth getting it color calibrated, or at least using the "standard" cal settings here:

http://www.controlcal.com/forum/showpost.php?s=6d942ccee4356b3b5fd527792d3beee9&p=6128&postcount=6

Edit: And yeah, it's almost as good as the last-Gen Kuro. The very very last Panasonic flagship finally beat out the Kuro black levels, and then they went and stopped making plasma TVs.

Edited by MajorJuggler

I think I agree with the other "XWing wife" that just posted... Women aren't generally encouraged to be competitive. I also started playing XWing at the same time as my husband. He's gotten better faster than me, obviously, since I'm also one of the ones that isn't always trolling the forums. That said, I thoroughly enjoy playing, not just because he's playing, but because the game is intriguing in it's design. This is the first miniatures game I've played, and the complexity and simplicity is amazing to me. I think, though, that I'm still daunted by the prospect of playing against guys in particular. I'm the only girl I know of in my area playing this game, and I'm always concerned about showing that I really am serious. I've slunk away from Hobby stores with my head down because I know all the guys in there are thinking I'm just there to get something random to appease my husband for something, not because I know what I'm doing. It's an interesting problem.

Again, all that said, I think the real problem is that women are generally not as competitive as men. Or, should I say, just as competitive, but uneasy about showing it. In most situations, if I start winning at a competitive game, I will be tempted to throw the game to preserve relationships. Also, many of the games I've tried to play with my husband that just haven't been for me have been straight war games. No objectives, nothing to really shake things up. To the untrained eye, it's all the same. I'm thinking of Planetside in particular, but to some extent even swing is this way to me. Since playing I've learned the complexities that make each game unique, but from the outside looking in, it's really just the same game over and over.

Another aspect is simply the genre. For some reason I haven't met many girls here in the South East that have even seen Star Wars, much less enjoy it. So, a Star Wars themed game is going to go over about like a brick with them. All the girls I've met who were at all into games were mostly Fantasy gamers. Not really sure why, but I know I tend much more toward Fantasy.

I like Home Theater, and so does my wife, so I found these posts fun.

OK, +30 more points @120 now to get to 7.1! For the sake of forward progression I'll just assume that the 60" TV is a Pioneer Kuro so it's actually better than the previous 65". ;)

OK, my turn! I'll add another "30 points" to upgrade the audio system and get us to 150 points, he he he. The TV is back to 65", but it's the flagship Panasonic from 2 years ago, so it's almost as good as a Kuro. :D

Actually, my 65" is the Panasonic flagship from three years ago (TC-P65VT30).

Dang, has it been 3 years already? I have the same exact model, I got it on sale a couple years ago from amazon with free shipping. Off-topic, but it's worth getting it color calibrated, or at least using the "standard" cal settings here:

http://www.controlcal.com/forum/showpost.php?s=6d942ccee4356b3b5fd527792d3beee9&p=6128&postcount=6

Edit: And yeah, it's almost as good as the last-Gen Kuro. The very very last Panasonic flagship finally beat out the Kuro black levels, and then they went and stopped making plasma TVs.

I know what you mean. Yeah, I definitely got it calibrated when we first bought it -- no point in buying an expensive TV and not getting the most out of it :) .