Hi,

I have an idea for a scenario, and thought I would bounce it off you good folk.

The heroes are asked (through Obligation) to investigate the recent disappearance of a granddaughter of a patron on a planet on the edges of Wild Space.

She is a budding Xeno-biologist and is using the patron to finance her interests. He bankrolls her expeditions and also provides bodyguards and other stuff she needs.

OK here is the situation in broad strokes.

The daughter has got caught up in a religious war that simmers on the planet. Bandits , operating under the banner of religious zeal, use their beliefs as an excuse to raid villages and towns seizing goods, food, slaves, and those young enough to be indoctrinated in their beliefs and used as cannon fodder in later combats.

So...

The Granddaughter was captured in such an attack when the village was attacked, and now the village is a smoking ruin. Investigation finds that very few of the young are amongst the dead and the majority of the bodies are all in one place (possibly a single burmt building. The daughter is not amongst the dead. However her distinctive bodyguards (a Droid and a wookie) are...

Maybe, There should be some nasty predator that is lairing at the slaughter site... Something insectile, armored and dangerous. Rather than create a nemesis at this early stage, I will probably make it a rival and use more than one of them... Something burrowing as well , so the attacks can be unexpected and from all angles.

So trailing the attackers the heroes discover a compound where the "recruits" are drilled and indoctrinated into the faith. The compound also has a rudimentary spaceport and a walled stockade where the more important prisoners are kept. Maybe here the third bodyguard (a Bothan) has been strung up and is slowly dying from exposure.

This combat (unless the heroes get very sneaky) will be complicated by the fact that many of the minions are in fact "innocents" and driven to attack through fear of their overseers. Maybe some of these overseers have trained alien beasts that they keep on leashes.

The "general" of these troops can be a Nemesis, and will probably have one or two Heavies. The general could also be a priest who has been bestowed gifts by the gods in the form of various high tech gadgets such as a forcefield generator and maybe a Heavy Droid Bodyguard

Once the compound has been dealt with (either by direct force or extolling the recruits to rebel against their captors). The heroes will be able to rescue the Bothan and look for the Granddaughter...

She is not in the camp, the Bothan will be able to tell them that she was taken off planet by a slaver/pirate ship who paid for her and a couple of other prisoners with high tech gear.

Investigating the Generals gear will discover that he has frequent contact with a slaver group which is based in a nearby asteroid field...

Thoughts? Does it suck horribly? What can I do to make it more Star Wars?

Thanks!

Make them already part of the group say they deliver supplies and maybe even dropped off the granddaughter and her party to that world.

They come back on a regular supply run and find the village in ruins and two of the bodyguards and maybe a third who was more of an assistant to the granddaughter dying from their injuries but live long enough to pass on what happened.

Give your players a personal interest in the matter, make this more personal by giving them a reason to get involved beyond just a job.

Could even see if one of the character's obligation is linked to one of the nemesis and their hencheman perhaps even that slavery ring?

Give the group a distinctive marking say like a tattoo the PC can recognise.

Hmm... involve a treasure hunt so you have a reason why she's still alive if they need her help finding some long lost trove like that in Beyond the Rim?

Make the slaver group actually imperial in nature might be an added means of making it more star wars but I suppose Black Sun or something similar might work...

Really nice ideas!

Maybe I should skip to the end...

The Granddaughter is Force Sensitive and has been sold to a Forsaken Jedi who is training warriors on a mountain retreat... However he has fallen to the Dark side and is training a force that will "Rise up and defeat the Imperials and reestablish the Jedi rule!"

Have you thought about choosing a Jedi from the Clone Wars or the prequels and make them be that Forsaken Jedi except its actually a clone?

Imagine their reaction if you showed them an actual picture of the Jedi say from the Prequels... for example how would they react to a Samuel L Jackson with a cybernetic prosthetic arm?

You sir, are an evil genius!

Now my real twist in the tail....

It has occurred to me that at no point have my group talked about where in the timeline the game is set. We have agreed to keep to Canon, but no one has discussed the Death Star and such...

So...

This mountain retreat will be on Alderaan, and when my players look puzzled and say, but hasn't it been destroyed, I can say... Nope, what made you think that?

Then, as the conflict with the Forsaken is coming too a close, a new moon appears in the skies.... and I guarantee that someone will say they have a bad feeling about it

An ominous feeling being felt by all no doubt!

A systemic, mass indoctrination of youth for use as meat shields is a pretty dark theme for Star Wars. Capturing for slavery is more like it, and feels much more Star Wars-y (and more blatantly evil, rather than sick and depraved).

Mind control devices and a single control unit which can be captured or destroyed might make it more palatable?

Even nastier is making them believe that such a thing exists when it doesn't but they have no means of knowing otherwise.

Literally dying from fear would make this even scarier to the players and even more frightening if they do figure it out afterwards!

Imagine a foe who can literally persuade (Influence) their minions they will die rather than betray or turn on them and they can't believe otherwise...

Giving them a physical object and letting them believe thats the thing they should be scared of rather than being unable to realise they're doing this to themselves.

Oh I think I might use that if I ever get to run an adventure introducing the Brotherhood...

That has a lot of possibilities, thanks!