That's an awfully long rant.
The Taskmaster's Ring is a great relic for the OL. Why? Same reason that you like Dash. Movement points are key, especially many times for lieutenants who are trying to race somewhere. What do they have to do to use it? Get a surge. Not terribly difficult. And it's the reward for 2 of the 3 Act I rumor quests for Trollfens, which are under the OL's control when and whether to play. The Act II relics are better for the heroes, especially since they can always use them whereas the OL is limited to just when he has a Lieutenant in play, but the Omen of Blight isn't bad.
The Secrets of Flesh is a very good OL card. There's a lot of times that I would prefer to see that to a Dash. Healing every monster on the board 1-3 health? Crazy good. The OL can also gain up to 6 threat from each rumor quest; that is nearly worth the 150 gold they may get out of it.
The LotW rewards are pretty heavily skewed towards the heroes. Heroes using Valyndra's Bane every encounters is much, much, much better than the OL having the option to use Her Majesty's Malice with a lieutenant. Similarly, Aurium Mail is much, much better than Valyndra's Gift.
But that's why Trollfens is better balanced than LotW. And that's why I would house-rule LotW and not Trollfens. But that's based off of the actual and specific things of each quest, not some diatribe on how things sit generally in some theoretical balance between the OL and heroes.